Whats wrong with me

On one hand at don’t want a relationship. I dont need someone to come into my life and get in the way of what im trying to do. Or bitch about how much i work. On the i miss the felling of knowing that theres someone on this planet that knows the real me and still loves me. Or the feeling of being held or having someone that cares to talk to. I have been careful not to hook up with my normal controling crazy type but it seems like that the kinda guy that likes me. So i just keep getting my self confidence nocked down. B1 i just met face to face tonight. Hes seem really cool but hes in an open relationship so it would be perfect if i can keep myself from catching feelings but im realy attracted to him. B2 we were freinds in school and i had a crush on him. We went out 1,got way drunk and had sex. Hes only texted me 1time since without me texting him. That was just for a booty call as soon as he found out i was out of town he didnt talk anymore. S my first boyfriend  idk wh i stil look at his profile. Why i miss talking to him. But he got mad because i went out. Called me a whore and hasnt talk since . We never would have been able to have a relationship he live to far away and neither of us will move. J hes anouther one that just dropped me  i caught feelings for the last 3 and they dont want anything to do with me. So its mee. But idk what i did wrong . Is it my teeth, my hours