Sometimes I feel like I am just that. However, I don’t know if my intuition or fears/anxiety that are making me feel that way. He has continually told her no all of the times she has tried everything in the book to get him to take her back…that is fact. But is he just waiting for her to say the right thing? It’s always about her, she never mentions love, etc. He has said many times that he is done and is not going to take her back, that he could never trust her again, that she looked him in the eyes and calmly told him she cares about him but doesn’t love him, etc. Yet sometimes he says and/or does things that seems like he would under the right circumstance. Of course something happened last night that is a prime example and why I am feeling this way today. He went to his stepsons game last night and he actually sat by her. It bothered me so I asked him why. He said for his stepson. Ok, I get that but the only other time he chose to was last week when he gave her the letter. He said he had money to give to her for stepsons fundraiser. Ok, I get that too but he didn’t have to sit by her for that. He said it was also a test and that it confirmed that everything she’s been saying is crap(which I already knew and he has said many times, it’s very obvious she only cares about his money). Here is where I lost it. I asked him why he would bother “testing”, what difference would it make and he said to make this process easier. I asked what if she hadn’t failed the test and he said then it would have just made it more sad. Is that true or is he searching for a glimmer of hope that by some miracle she will stop being a narcissistic wench? At this moment my emotions are so all over the place that I just don’t know and it’s an incredibly horrible feeling. I’ve waited for so many years to finally be with him but right now I feel like throwing up a zillion walls and crawling under a rock somewhere.