The past two days have been doozies. On the bright side, at least I think that I am finally slipping out of the grasp of whatever evil cooties have plagued me since Christmas.

Wednesday pretty much has my boat rocking and I am not sure how to calm the seas. A topic came up with Joe and something he said shocked me so a question popped out of my mouth that I wish that I never would have asked. He lied to me at first but after stressing for a few minutes over keeping a promise to someone else, he decided to break his promise in order to respect me and to be honest with me. I knew the truth as soon as he lied, I could tell in that instant because I know him so well but I would give anything to forget what I, now, know. He explained everything and apologized repeatedly for lying at first. No one else knows and he was(and probably still is) really worried that I would judge him and think less of him. He had planned on telling me about it at some point but since it was something from over a year ago and doesn’t have anything to do with us, he just hadn’t told me yet. I would never share his secrets, even here, and I would never judge him or think less of him but I can say that my trust is damaged(because of both the secret and lying at first)…to what degree I am not sure. =( I don’t really know how to process it and work through it. For some reason it took until tonight to really hit me…probably because it was a complete shock. At any rate, it’s going to take some time for me to figure it all out.

On Thursday he gave Cruella the letter…thankfully. He hasn’t heard a peep from her since then. I figured she’d be utterly pissed and blow up, and she still may, but it feels like when you are watching something drop and waiting to see how horrible the mess is. I’m dreading it. Maybe, by some miracle, she will be civil and it will go smoothly. I will definitely be praying hard for that. =/

I am so very glad that it’s the weekend because I really need the rest, reprieve and to somehow figure out a way to keep my fears(and sanity) in check. Since it is 5:30am I guess I should start by going to bed and trying to get my mind to stop spinning.