01/04/2010 E

I have discovered… I am numb. Emotionally.

I believe I have had another stroke, but am showing no obvious signs… just what I have delt with all day, which is MAJOR shakes… in the way a severe addict would shake.. I have not come off any meds… so I dont understand… even my JAW was doing the teeth chattering thing.

Bothers me.

But, I am emotionally numb. Maybe my soul knows in 3 days I get to relieve its death?

**EDIT**

For those concerned.

Apparently, missing your zoloft for… oh… say a month, and then restarting on a full dose/ empty stomach caused a seratonin OD.

No matter that I ate after the fact. The damage had begun.

I am okay now. Even made it to work today. But, had quiet the scare with the shaking.

Thurs is the day…

And Sat, I start fresh, with a whole new team of doctors. 🙂

Truth be told…you’ve been reliving it every day for the past almost year now… There’s been no rest, no peace. *sadly shakes her head* I think, in a way, that’s what makes the anniversary so much harder to bear…because it has been almost ONE YEAR and yet the pain still hurts as bad, if not worse, than when he first died. I’m sure you at least HOPED that one year later you’d be feeling a little stronger, a little better than this…but it still feels like only yesterday… It’s disheartening, to say the least. 🙁 *HUGE HUG* I love you, Mandi. And I am more sorry than words can say for all you’ve had to suffer…all you yet have to suffer… I wish there was a way to make it all better. *downcast head*

Thank God you’re getting a new team of doctors… *HUGE HUGS* Love you, Mandi.