You Bloody Imbecile

Yesterday was an OK day. My physics teacher gave me a talk. bah. He was talking about me underacheiving and him knowing I’m capable of an A but i underestimate my abilities. OK, yes, i do like to expect less of myself so i don’t let myself down as much but, seriously, i’m questioning whether i will be able to get a B. This isn’t me being modest or asking for people to say “you will”. I’,m deadly serious. I am bad at physics I know i would be able to do it if i concentrated on it but i destest it with a passion. I don’t put my mind to it and therefore…A? no chance mate. Anyway, he said he’s “still worried” about me. I haven’t been myself for the past 4 or 5 months. I said this to Henry last night and he said “i wonder what changed 4 or 5 months ago?” and I’ve been thinking…thats like…new years time right? like…the time i made a news years resolution to try PROPERLY to stop cutting. I dunno whether i actually put that in my diary…i was gonna keep it to myself, i dunno, i can’t remember. but, bah. i dunno. maybe it’s not that. maybe its just he started to realise how miserable i am in physics lessons (coz i hate physics) and assumed im like that all the time? i dunno.

anyway, today had a fantabulous day. well, that’s going a bit far. but, it wasn’t bad. It was my friend Rachel Stevens birthday. wooness for her. We got her oodles of stuff and i made a poster of photos of her and spread it round the 6th form centre. (we do that to all our friends) The photos of Rach were nice ones though…two were of her wearing big white knickers with writing all over them over her trousers but she looked pretty lol. Emily made a treasure hunt around the 6th form centre for her to find her presents hehe it was so fun. we turn into kids when it’s someone’s birthday. i got photies from today of random people *sends people to her ‘space’*

first lesson today was a free. 2nd lesson was physics…going through an exam (which i did badly in) and we finished within 15 minutes so we got let out 50 minutes early lol. then it was break time. everyone was askingme where rachel had disappeared to coz they wanted to give her her presents but *shrug* how was i supposed to know? third was psychology. revision ie her giving us lotsa sheets and photocopies of her brainstorms and us going over it in our own colour code (her saying which bits should be which colour) coz only the black and white photocopier is working. *condenses all she has just said into two words* doss lesson. Then lunch. Rachel opened all her presents. We had a game of Uno through registration. Then maths was last but it was cancelled YAY! so we had a mega game of uno. there was like 11 of us *giggles* it was so much fun…and I WON!! OMG!! hehehe but then boo…old mr steer cam in when there was like 5 people left playing and told us to get on with some homework or revision. There were only like 20 minutes left of the day and we didnt even have to be in school so BOO! We couldve left at erm…1.30 and it was 2.20.

anyway. im rambling about stuff nobody cares about. perhaps i should shut up

-Lauren xx