Stressed and Tired

Wellity wellity wellity. where to begin…
still stressing a hell of a lot about my assignments. Now realised a couple of due dates are closer than I though (one because I didn’t read the module guide and the other because someone SWORE she had spoken to the lecturer and the module guide for that one was wrong…apparently no it isn’t wrong). Blah. And I just don’t seem to be having time. I have to see Jordan because he’s disappearing and he makes me feel hella guilty if I say I don’t have time so I give in. I am not sleeping before 5am every night and it sucks. I’m so shattered and stressed and blah blah blah.

My mum and dad are on holiday at the mo. It was my daddy’s birthday last week. I wrote him a really shit poem as I do every year and I decided to go a bit slushy instead of jokey this year. It was *very* slushy and just said how much I appreciate everything and love him and couldn’t cope without him and blah blah blah. I ended it with a joke to make it a little less awful…me and my dad aren’t..slushy. *shrugs* he didn’t mention it when he text me saying thanks for his present. good ha. he probably got weirded out by wondering why I was being so nice to him. it is weird lately though. when i go home he randomly get up off his chair, runs to me, sits on me, squashes me and suffoctaes me (that’s his way of showing me affection) but then he hugs me and says he’s glad im back. weird. and me and my dad always kiss on the lips goodbye now. we used to do it occasionally but…*shrugs* now it’s all the time and it’s strange but…nice in a way.

new topic: i have no money. no money at all. it sucks. i can just about eat but not for much longer. jordan gets slightly more special christmas and birthday presents but everyone else will have to put up with not having too much stuff. damn it. I LOVE buying presents for people. i love spoiling the people i love. but…i can’t this year. nowhere near as much as i want to anyway. it really really sucks.

new topic: the brother. wondering about him a lot. dunno what’s going on with him. the other day he had to go to london and wouldnt tell anyone what for. something to do with a job (he’s just graduated from a business management degree). he left something on the computer open and my mum was nosey and looked at it (haha). he’s passed a telephone interview for something and had to go and make a presentation. dunno what for though. hmmm….

what else?

meh, can’t be bothered.

sum up: i’m stressed and tired and can’t sleep and I have a lot of work

side note: i love Jordan very much.

Lauren x