so much to do and no smoking
argh I suck at organising things. promised Nikki aaaages ago I would go to southend on the 19th to get tattoos. the 19th is rachel stevens birthday. feck. said to lil sis Zoe i would meet up with her tuesday night but tuesday is the only day i can see josh really. I was meant to go clubbing with nikki but i have no money so i had to cancel that. have warned her that i will probably have to cancel tattoo (which im now meant to be getting this thursday) because i cant afford it. was meant to be out tonight with Zoe but I got wasted last night so i wasnt really in the mood and plus I kinda forgot. that’s also down to me not knowing what day it is at the minute. Meant to be going to t he beach with Em Rach Rach and El on Thur but i’ve just reorganised tattoos to thur. meant to be going out monday night with everyone. sometime in easter break there is a reunion of people from my primary school (ages 4 to 10 ish). I planned to go spend a few days with Jordan. oh and i was gonna crash at Jord’s so I had somewhere quiet with few distractions to get my assignment done (which I bet I forget about until the day before I go back). Next Fri some people were meant to be coming to Cambs clubbing…or next Weds…but then that clashes with Rach’s birthday. I’m pretty sure I’m meant to spend a little bit of time with my family at some point while I’m actually in town..I have to find some time and money to go shopping to get rach stevens birthday present and nikki’s birthday present…and a pink outfit for nikki’s birthday outing (which i can’t afford to go on)
but I can’t do any of it because I have no money.
I’m actually going to cry if I dont get to have my tattoo. And I wanted to get another piercing. Life officially sucks (ok maybe that’s a little dramatic).
Other news – I set myself the task of not smoking today. Not including the ones I had between 12am and 3am drunk. They don’t count. I’ve had to keep myself busy. And I’ve been grumpy as fuck.
Must apologise to Jordan when I get to speak to him. I’m such a moody cow without fags. And it’s not like I can solve it. I have no fags. And the shops near me are shut. And if I go out in the car my parents will think I’m weird. I’m going crazy. I’m fiddling with anything I can get my hands on. I broke my favourite belly bar because of fiddling with it (yes, the death of my pink bar with the stars hanging off it has come). I have nothing else I want to watch on 4OD and there’s nothing on telly. I don’t have any of my stuff in my room because of decorating so there’s no shit to go through to keep myself amused. I can’t sleep. This is torture. I’m so getting up very early tomorrow to go and buy fags.
Lauren xx