Sit&drink some wine.I’ll try not to make you cry.
Well, what’s been going on?
Last night I went to an Ann Summers party. I had the most fun. Well, it would have been better if a few of the people hadn’t turned up but it was good anyway. Saw some stuff I would *love* (because of my addiction to underwear). If only it wasn’t christmas time, then I could have spent an absolute fortune. Roxy phoned Ollie trying to get him to buy me this one set I fell in love with hah. Tight fucker. He works between 40 and 50 hours a week and most of that is overtime so he must be loaded. And he always makes me buy the drinks when we go out. *stamps foot and puts hand on hip* I wanted that set. In the end, me Roxy and Zoe all ordered a new virbrator each (sshh). Roxy ordered this hilarious chair that has a willy sticking up from where you sit. And Zoe ordered a willy game which is actually for Roxy for christmas…it’s like Willy Hoopla. So funny. We could have all spent a fortune on underwear though.
We had a raffle…Zoe won a teddy bear saying happy christmas, how sweet eh? I won an adjustable cock ring *giggles* and Roxy won a finger ring vibrator. Kinda funny how us three all got something. woo.
The last hour was a bit embarrassing for me. We got rid of the people who were ruining it by saying it was over then carried it on with the nice people. There was this onegirl in her twenties that got pissed. She came and sat next to me and says "not being funny but you’re a lesbian aren’t you?" and i was like "*laugh* I’m bi, yeah, how did you know that?" and she started telling me that she had heard about me having a ‘lesbian fling’ with this girl I used to be really close to. Seriously…that story is not true lol. If I did I can’t remember it. Yeah so the last hour everyone was having a debate about if it’s right to be gay or bi and what’s acceptable and different opinions etc etc. I think the most embarrassing question has got to be "so…is sex better with a male or a female" I cannot imagine how red I must have gone whilst answering that. The funniest thing was that while she was trying to be all philosophical and then all sensible about her ideas, the drunken one kept saying "in a way, I respect you" or "I respect you. It takes balls to sit there and admit things like this" or "at the end of the day i really do respect you" lol She must have let me know that I was respected for being honest about 50 times. No exaggeration. I just figure, I’ll be honest and if anyone has a problem with me being bi, I don’t wanna be friends with them anyway.
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Today. I had to meet Zoe before school to take her to the doctors. She has high blood pressure and suffers with it and they told her she had to have another blood test. Her mum normally goes with her because Zoe does *not* like needles. I get a lecture and then she nearly throws up whenever I say about giving blood. Anyway, me and Josh took her to the doctors. She asked me to go in the room with her to hold her hand. I went in with her and she went pale as she got there. The nurse sat her down and Zoe straight away started talking about how she was scared. The nurse couldn’t find a vein so she called in another nurse. The second nurse found a vein. So, I sat on a stall next to her, she squeezed my hand. The nurse started doing it, got the needle in and was now starting to draw the first sample of blood. Zoe felt sick. The nurse did the first two. Zoe really felt sick. The nurse started to do the third and Zoe passed out. We got Zoe awake as the nurse did the third sample and then she took the needle out. Zoe really felt sick. The second nurse ran out of the room to get her something to be sick in, the first nurse kept talking to Zoe to keep her awake. Zoe just kept saying she was gonna be sick. My hand went a little numb from how hard Zoe was squeezing. The second nurse came back and Zoe was sick. Whilst she was being sick…or at least between gags…Zoe kept saying "I’m sorry, Loll" I was like "what you apologising to me for?" It was quite funny. Then a third nurse came running in because she had seen the second nurse into the room. Zoe just kept saying after she felt better "how embarrassing" lolol. When we got out I gave her one of the two bottles of water I had just bought. Then I bought her some Malteasers because she passed out because her blood sugar level dropped.
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Everyone has been moaning at me all day. Zoe’s words "You ok? You seem so depressed. Cheer the fuck up" Joel’s words "What’s up? Stop being grumpy" Johnny’s words "You ok? you’re very quiet. Cheer up. We’re in physics!" Then Johnny started saying "What you thinking about? Something must be knocking about in that blonde head of yours" and moaning coz I said there was nothing wrong. Urgh. Mr Fendley was teaching me. He was at our desk and I wasn’t really listening to what he was saying. All i heard was "…must have wondered off somewhere else" as I realised he was staring straight at me. Then he kept looking at me and raising his eyebrows when people weren’t looking. My response was a raise of my own eyebrows and a slight smile. blah.
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I was just rubbing the side of my neck. And I found a lump. It’s like pea sized. It doesn’t hurt or anything. You can’t see it. It’s just under my skin. I wonder if it’s alays been there…I’ve never noticed it before but then I guess I don’t normally take that much notice of what my neck feels like. Anyway, now I know it’s there I can’t stop fiddling with it.
I need to go back to the doctors about my chest infection. He said if the penicillan doesn’t clear it up then go back. so I’m gonna head back. I’m getting a little weirded out by my moles. Lots of them have grown or changed colour. With so many cancers in my family I think I should mention it but I don’t think it is anything. Ihave this one that my dad calls my chocolate drop (because it sticks out and hangs downwards and is dark brown) at the front of my right armpit and thats’s gone darker and it hasn’t grown but the shape seems…different. I dunno.
Lauren xx