Silence. No Wires. Little Faye.

I just had a very eerie silence in my life. Ok, not my life, my room. It was strange, all at the same time, my dog stopped chewing the bone i just gave him, my brother shut the front door as he was leaving the house and my laptop went on standby. Silence. I just paused and kinda looked up without moving my head. lol, it was like a scene from a movie. But, me being me, I started to overanalyse straight away. Things are getting too much right now, I admit it, theyreally are. I can’t cope with it anymore. And, if I didn’t feel such a need to hug my best friend, after last night *sighs slightly* I dunno. I wouldn’t be writing this entry. (man, I didn’t like typing that). But, back to my point, things might be hectic right now. It might all be upsetting. I might get myself into a state on regular occasions. But, how boring would it be to have a normal life? *shrugs slightly* No matter what happens, this is still me. I still am the owner of this life and even though I’m fed up with it, I wouldn’t swop it. I know how lucky I am. I know that I could be an awful lot worse off. Ok, ramble over.

Just got back from the hospital. My grandad is doing fine. *smiles broadly* He had his catheter removed, he’s not on a drip anymore, he can eat and drink what he wants, in fact they are encouraging him to eat as much as he can. But, he’s still not well obviously. He has extremely low iron levels but they can’t put him on iron tablets because they give you diarrhoea and he already has had that for 3 months…like serious diarrhoea…it wouldn’t be a good idea for that. But, obviously, lack of iron is making him ill too. *sighs* it’s a no win situation right now but at least it’s heading in some kind of direction that’s not  down. It’s up…but with just a slight gradient. Better than a negative gradient or just a plan ol’ x-axis’ right?

I didn’t go to school today. I just didn’t. No reason. I went to Joshs and got loads of my psychology coursework done. It was a relief to be able to have some time to get it done. And even though we hardly ever do work when we are together, we get distracted, he is a big help and today I got a lot done (he didn’t, he kept getting distracted and finding things to show me). My first job on my trip round to his, he had walked his sister so school and lost the garage key on the way. He had then walked backwards and forwards between his house and her junior school 3 times and still couldn’t find it. It wasn’t in his pocket, it wasn’t near the garage, he hadn’t been back into the house after using it, it wasn’t on the drive, but it had to be somewhere. I walked to his sisters school and just as I was asking what shade of green the plastic on it was, I saw it glinting away in the sun. It was facing my feet right in the middle of the pavement, lol. He thinks that’s where they crossed the road that morning so he probably took his hand out of his pocket to grab his sisters hand and…well…you know. but woo i saved the day. And I entertained his sister when he was trying to prepare dinner and I made her do her homework lol. He just kept telling Josh to "shut up you stupid idiot" *giggles even though she knows she shouldn’t* so I said that I loved practicing spellings and handwriting and could I help her. lol, she bought it.

Man, I’ve rambled. It’s coz I’ve been at Josh’s all day and he’s one of those camp guys that just ramble, so it’s my turn. Perhaps I should shush now.

-Lauren xx