Phil and me 1…Jason 1

i feel like a proper moaning ol biddy recently. i feel like im talking about being ill too much. but, in my defence, it’s the first thing people have been saying to me. like in my first text from Jason every day i’m asked “how are you feeling today?” and i love him asking it but, i feel like i run on. And people at school are like “you voice sounds even worse today” or “your voice sounds a little better” or “y’alright?” n give me sympathetic looks lol. You know that feeling where all you wanna do if tip your head back, fall and lay down on the floor and stay there forever…well thats how i fell. but, im trying to act like my normal self. i feel like people will think im asking for sympathy by acting ill. all i wanna do is be in bed. i don’t want to talk about being ill. i don’t want to explain how im feeling or how i was feeling or how i hope to feel. i just wanna get on with being ill without conversations all focussing on me and people not knowing what to say. bah. stopping with the moaning about illness in my diary lol.

so..last night me and Jason’s best friend Phil played a little bit of a trick on him.  We said we’d slept together n i had cheated on Jason with him. lol, when i say it like that it sounds harsh but it was all fun and Jason took it that way too.  We kept it going for ages and we thought he had started to believe us. Me and Phil were each having separate conversations with Jason and also one with each other. We were copying and pasting almost everything Jason said to us so we could keep our stories straight lol. then he said to me “i’m sorry” and i was like “what for?” and he said “for what im about to say” Phil was like “SHIT!” and we said we were kidding. Jason was like “hahaha i win!!” ok, me and Phil suck at lying lol.

Then, Phil started telling Jason that he had really upset me. Phil had copied a section to me in which Jason called me two-faced. so obviously then came my sob story about when everyone in my year hated me because i hung around with loads of bitches so everyone assumed i was just like them and that people called me twofaced because i acted nice but they ‘knew’ if my friends started to bully them i would join in. SO not true. but, meh, anyway, i used this with Jason saying it really upsets me to be called that because its one of the things i try my hardest not to be etc etc etc. Ending conversation with “i really just need a bit of distance from you right now” and “talk to you later maybe” he kept apologising. Phil wanted me to keep it going longer coz he was texting Phil asking if i was really upset and whether he’s messed things up between us but i felt bad so i text him saying we were kidding and that i still like him and blah blah blah WE WIN!! lololol. well, it’s 1-1 now anyway.

but, i feel bad for him today. one of his friends was going out with a real bitch who they all hated and she took advantage of him (apparently – i dont know them) but he broke up with her yesterday (?) and so today theyve had a bad day with her being a bitch and his friend cried and aw. but J said he was going round his this evening to have a chat so…hmm…well see. Phil said J wasnt someone who really listens to his friends. He’s always listened to me and then he seemed to be helping his friend today so im starting to think it’s just phil that thinks that lol.

well anyway, i’ve rambled enough about nothing so…

Lauren xxx