moving issues – jordan i hope you bloody read this

I’m happy at the moment. Things are going well with Jordan apart from one thing that’s bugging me. I’m living with friends at uni at the mo. I have one more semester left. We need to let the letting agents know if we’re staying in the house next year. Me and Jordan would love to live together. But he needs to make the decision about whether he can move to Cambridge. I would completely understand if he couldn’t. Obviously I would be upset/disappointed but it would add an extra hour on to his commute every day and he’s so busy and tired already so… yeah I would get why he couldn’t. I don’t think I can move to his… I’ve thought seriously about it. But even thinking about living there makes me close to tears. I know it’s silly. But I get so lonely even staying at his. He’s so busy. So he doesn’t get home until really late. But it’s not nice him leaving at like 7am and getting back at the very earliest 8pm… I don’t know anyone there so I can’t meet up with anyone. And it’s so quiet. There’s nothing to do. One coffee shop… I do like to go there with a book on my own and have a coffee but there’s only so many times you can do that and walk around the 2 shops that interest me… or go to Morrisons.
I know it would be different as I would be working full time but going from a life living with my friends and popping down the pub when we feel like the wind is blowing us in that direction to being on my own apart from like an hour with Jordan until he falls asleep would be so hard. But if he can’t move to Cambridge I would understand… if we have to go another year not living together we’ll have to. Even that would be hard though. Working in an optician’s I’m obviously going to be working at weekends. At the moment I mostly to go Jordan’s to make sure we see eachother. And he comes to mine some Saturdays I have off. Sats are the only days we spend together. The only days we both have off work. And I’ll be working them next year… I think we would really struggle not living together next year. We argue so much when we haven’t seen eachother in ages. (my fault).
Anyway… Jordan just ignores me when I say we need to talk about it. If he can’t move to Cambridge he just needs to tell me. He says he’ll think about it then says “but I don’t want to disappoint you” If that means no then that’s what he needs to say.. not just ignore my requests to talk about it. I need to tell the letting agents by the end of the month whether i want to live here next year. And if he’s not moving here i have to decide whether i’m moving to his…staying here…moving home… i just need to know his decision so if i have one to make… i have time to do it.
ok rant over. 2am so i shouldn’t really update on anything else. i didnt really come here to rant about this but it’s on my mind so i guess it was always gonna happen.
lauren x