lots to do…no effort to do it

I’m back in my home town for 3 weeks of easter break. one down 2 to go. it’s good being home. i miss my family. i miss my home comforts. it’s good just to chill without having to worry about getting on with people or worry about cleaning or cooking or money. i’m comfortable.

Jordan disappeared to Wales for easter. i was hoping i could go with him but stupid work put me in on saturday coz we were shut sunday so i didn’t get the weekend off which sucked. he got home today. i was planning on going to surprise him in letchworth and have a meal and a naked girlfriend waiting for him when he got back but luckily he warned me that because he was so tired after a night out, his mum went with him to keep him company on the long drive back. that could’ve been awkward. but the sod phoned me and made me talk to him mum when he got back after i’d had a couple of vodkas. he knows i don’t like talking to his mum because she makes me go shy and after alcohol it’s so much worse because i ramble…

i’ve got a lot of work to be doing but i don’t seem to ever get round to it. it’s bad. i cannot leave this stuff to the night before like i have EVERY bit of work since i started uni. i’ve blagged most of it and got As and Bs but there is one bit that the lecturer was really harsh on everybody and i only just passed. so now i need to work my ass off and make up for it with the rest of my stuff. i can’t afford not to do well.

and i really need to get my ass in gear getting an opticians job. i suck for procrastinating. i’m just REALLY bad. i love my sleep and i love dossing and day time TV and…urgh. i infuriate myself. and now i can’t get on with much because the stuff i need to do these things are all in my house in cambridge. because i procrastinate…i never get round to packing until i’m about to miss my train so i just grab the important things and go. i might stay in cambridge at the weekend so i can get some stuff sorted. there should be noone in the house so i can just get on with it with no distractions. but i’ll plan to and then i’ll just get a bottle of wine in and order a takeaway and amuse myself all weekend.

plus i never seem to get round to going to bed. it’s 2am now. all the time i’ve been home i’ve been going to bed at 3/4am. then i sleep in and don’t get to see my family much anyway. i should go to bed now…

lauren x

Me are Jordan last summer… I hated this photo coz it looks like i have no eyes coz it was bright and i was squinting and my smile is creepy. But Jordan liked it and now it’s warming to me coz it reminds me of how much fun i had wandering about with him there.