Jason. (again)
Today has sucked. Seriously. Sucked. Nothing too bad has happened. Well, mh grandad went into hospital and I spent the evening there but it’s a good thing. He’s having the reversal done so that he can pooh outa his ass instead of his stomach. he’s having the operation tomorrow. So…tomorrow is going to be a loooong day. Plus I had about 45 mins sleep saturday night and about 2 hours last night and I am working 9 – 5.30 tomorrow because everyone is at Jane’s weddingso I’m left in charge and then i have to go to Jane’s wedding reception so I wont get in til late and im wearing new stiletto sandle that are gonna kill my feet and it’s Roxy’s bday today so everyone is going out with her tomorrow and im gonna miss it unless i can escape the wedding reception. man. suckerooni.
god i miss jason. i know i have no right to say that. but man…i do like him. Zoe’s mum asked why i split up with jason and zoe joked "because she’s not getting any" and maybe that’s why. i always said i would never push him into anything. and we both agreed to take things very slowly. he made no attempt to hide that fact that he’s shy with girls. and that was cool with me. but…i’m not a virgin. the way i act in relationships has matured (?) to a stage where i need to have intimate contact. im not saying i hate that we havent slept together. we havent done anything. and after 5 months and coming from a relationship with sex everyother day…that;s a real difference. a girls imagination can only go so far you know lol. *blushes* i do think about me and him doing stuff and he’s said that he thinks about it too but he’s too shy to start things off and im too scared that he’s not ready lol. we’re doomed. hmm…i was thinking we are doomed…i guess it couldve meant we were doomed. i still think of us as present tense. i dont want it to be over. i really dont. but it’s better this way. he needs to get away from me. if im gonna do this i need to be away from him so i dont hurt him so much. i wish i could tell him taht i’m doing this for him. i wish i could properly explain my real reasons. i wish he knew im not as much of a bitch as i seem.