i suck
i cut last night. im such a loser. I’m just so angry at myself. I had a great day and i had a great day planned for today. and do you knwo what the stupid thing is? nothing happened! nothing happened to upset me. I was just going on random on OD and came across a diary that sounded exactly like me when i was going through a mega rough patch. it was weird. and urgh. i ended up cutting.
but. it was different. I was shaking like hell. i was scared while i was cutting. i was so scared i started crying. I was screaming at myself to stop but i just couldnt. and it hurt. it hurt like hell. i guess before i was kinda numb to the pain but…fuck. it hurt. and still does.
im just so angry at myself. what was the point? why? im happy. for the first time in a long long time, i can honestly say, i am happy. so what the hell was last night?? urgh, im such a fucking loser.
in teh back of my mind im thinking about all the problems its caused me already. i mean, dance rehersal today for the show on sunday…which i have to wear hot pants in. and my thighs will be seen = cuts will be seen. and, i am worried about that,but, urgh. im just so frickin angry!
*shuts up*
to hell with this.
i suck.
ouch dont cut. it hurts.
Warning Comment
ouch dont cut. it hurts.
Warning Comment
Thank you for the note. I love it when random people drop by, so thank you 🙂 You shouldn’t cut. As much as you might think that the world has turned to shit underneath you, nothing is bad enough to cut yourself. I did a long time ago and it didn’t do anything for me. That’s why I have my diary. It gives me a chance to vent and not have to mutilate myself. I just get tattoos instead now. Cheers
Warning Comment
Thank you for the note. I love it when random people drop by, so thank you 🙂 You shouldn’t cut. As much as you might think that the world has turned to shit underneath you, nothing is bad enough to cut yourself. I did a long time ago and it didn’t do anything for me. That’s why I have my diary. It gives me a chance to vent and not have to mutilate myself. I just get tattoos instead now. Cheers
Warning Comment
I am SO sorry that you had to go through that. Being in “that state of mind” is horrible and I know this. I fully understand what you are going through and just because last night was a moment of weakness doesn’t mean you can’t be strong from this moment. Make a promise to yourself to start over with a clean slate. Make today “Day One”. Don’t get down on yourself – everyone falls…
Warning Comment
I am SO sorry that you had to go through that. Being in “that state of mind” is horrible and I know this. I fully understand what you are going through and just because last night was a moment of weakness doesn’t mean you can’t be strong from this moment. Make a promise to yourself to start over with a clean slate. Make today “Day One”. Don’t get down on yourself – everyone falls…
Warning Comment
Know that I am here if you need to vent and OD is a great place to rant if you need to. There are so many of us who know what you are going through and want to help. So please don’t hesitate to ask. 🙂 <3
Warning Comment
Know that I am here if you need to vent and OD is a great place to rant if you need to. There are so many of us who know what you are going through and want to help. So please don’t hesitate to ask. 🙂 <3
Warning Comment