Grandad Bob’s funeral

My last entry…was uncalled for. Me and Jordan naturally argue when he’s been drinking and I was tired and unable to sleep and upset about my grandad and being very oversensitive. Jordan has been a sweetheart the whole way through everything with my grandad. True, he could’ve escaped for 5 minutes to give me a quick ring. I don’t really understand why he didn’t…it’s not like him. I normally have to tell him to stop texting me or ringing me and go back to his friends. But…we had a little tiff last night via text and he apologised and I was a bitch and it was unbcalled for. I was just feeling needy and he didn’t realise it. No biggie.

The funeral today was…ok. Me and mum got up early and made the sandwiches for everyone to eat at my nan’s afterwards. Quickly got ready and then made our way to my nan’s. We met up with everyone who was coming in the funeral limos there. Me, my brother Dominic, my mum, my dad, my uncle Mike, aunty Linda, cousin Mark, cousin Zoe, Zoe’s husband Matt and of course my nan. When the cars arrived we went outside and had a look at the flowers on top of the coffin. Uncle Mike had copied us and gone for a display with little clusters of special flowers and loads of leaves – looked nothing like traditions funeral flowers and was really nice. Nan’s flowers in the middle were really pretty. Mike had also ordered an extra display from the dogs which was in the back window of the hurst. It was little ivory flowers clustered up to be in the shape of a bone. It was about a foot long and the cutest thing. I have a picture of the bone shaped flowers on my phone but I can’t be bothered to get my lead.

The ‘younguns’ went in the back car. haha…I’m 19 my brother is 21, my cousin Mark is soon 33 my cousin Zoe is…30?ish? and Matt is probably a couple of years older than her. We are the younguns.

We get to the crematorium and we all follow the coffin in. The place is so full. I mean, my grandad was 79…a lot of his friends are dead already but so many people turned up. It was really nice.

The vicar was short. Like…funny short. He could only just reach the microphone. Funny. Heard nan saying that when we got back to hers and she added “is it disrespectful to say that?”.

There were alot of laughs at the funeral. The vicar got my grandad’s attitude across exactly. I mean, obviously he was helped by us giving him the stories of him getting drunk after visiting all the neighbours and getting drinks given to him and breaking things on boxing day etc. I started off thinking “how can you say that? You didn’t know him.” but…something changed my mind. I can’t tell you what.

We exited after the service had ended and waited for everyone to file out. My mum’s best friend is Sue Maxie. She grew up living opposite my nan’s house. Sue’s mum and my nan are still living opposite eachother and our familie’s are very close. A couple of years ago Sue’s dad died. When dad went over to tell Brenda about my grandad on the day of his deathm she fell apart. Sue couldn’t ring my mum. She rang my other nan in hysterics…my nan couldn’t understand what she was saying and tried to get her to calm down and in the end Sue had to hang up on my nan and call her back later (oh…this has bought back the tears – i’ve done well and haven’t so far through writing this). Today Brenda and SUe were the same. An absolute mess. When Sue came out she just clung to my mum and cried…you know that type of crying that kids do…hiccoughing sobs. Then Brenda came out, hugged us and then had to walk away saying to herself “I knew I’d be like this”. That got me and mum going again lol. My grandad was like a second dad to Sue.

Afterwards we went back to my nans. My mum’s cousin Tony and his wife came from London and although my nan didn’t want many people back after, we invited them because they had come so far and you can’t just send them back to London in the snow. Matt went to get his and my cousin Zoe’s two little girls. Katie is 2 in August and Jessica will be one in September. It was refreshing to have them about. Took everyone’s mind off it a bit watching Katie talk and play and eat all the cheese out of the sandwiches and the egg from the “vol-uuuu-vonts” but leaving the bread and pastry all over the table.

I held Jessica for a bit and her fingernails are soooo tiiiiny *laughs*.

Anyway, that’s enough. I’m going to smoke. I haven’t yet today. It’s 6.35 but I’m stressed out…

Lauren xx