A Sad and Lonely Weekend

This  past weekend was tough for me emotionally. I went to the old town to work at a charity fundraiser for the -Club. I’ve been doing the same job for it for almost a decade now, and everyone says that I do it well (I’m the MC), so I said that I’d be happy to do it again when asked.

Because we still haven’t closed on the old house yet and left a queen-sized bed in the basement for the new owners, I decided to spend the weekend at the old house. It was a good decision, financially, but a terrible decision emotionally.

L and A had their tearful goodbyes at the beginning of August. M had hers after we did the cleaning three weeks ago. This was my turn.

It was a sad and lonely weekend. Aside from the fundraiser and a Friday dinner with a friend, I spent the entirety of the weekend all alone in an empty house. It was just me and my memories and the inevitable “What If”s that spring into my overly reflective brain. What if the old school district had made an effort to save M’s job? What if she hadn’t applied for the job down here and had stayed with the sure thing close to home? What if we had lived the rest of our lives in that home?

Sigh.

Sunday morning the new owners came over to scope the house out for painting and decorating. We chatted about things. I’m hopeful that they will keep the trees that I planted. Especially the apple tree that L planted from a seed. I will be so devastated if I drive past the house in a year or two and it is ripped out.

That last morning was the hardest. I walked around the inside and outside, just taking it all in. I went outside by the trees and plants and took some acorns and wild grapes to plant down here at the new house. I’m hopeful that they will grow.

We close on Friday this week. M and I are taking half days to go up for the big afternoon. Afterwards we will meet up with some friends at a bar for dinner to catch up. And then we are done with the place. Not forever, by any means. But for a very good long while.