Loyalty rant.

I’m still working through this grief, so bear with me here.

In my angry Bruce-rant, I did not mean to diminish the positive effect this place has had on my life. Most notably, as my marriage hit the fan, I needed this place. I wrote and wrote, and then wrote some more. There were days when I posted 3-4 entries, and I needed that. I needed to purge everything from my head, and writing here helped immensely. I do not give Bruce credit for that. Sure, he created this place, but he was not the one reading all my crap and offering advice, sympathy, and support.

But I do want to give props to Bruce for offering us this space to be, to grow, to vent. That is where it ends. I thanked him for that back then, when he was still puttering around here. And he deserved it back then.

But now? You’ve changed, man. Bruce, as far as I can tell, has no idea how to treat people. This community here has been loyal to him FOR YEARS. Even those of us who have criticized him over the years, even many of us who picked up and moved over to prosebox… we all had been loyal to him for a long, long time, and many of us would likely have come back here and continued that loyalty, if he’d ever gotten his head out of his ass. There are still folks who buy into Bruce’s bullshit who are loyal to him. And why? Has he been loyal to us? Yes, he created the site — we’ve already established that — but he abandoned it AND US long ago. And many were STILL loyal to him. He basically used and then shit on a community that has been here for him for 15 years.

And now he’s lying to us about his reasons for ending it. I’ve said this before: it’s not about the money! Years ago, back when this site was still relatively new, and he was actually a presence here, Bruce ran into some financial difficulty, and he asked this community for help. Guess what? He got it. So if money truly were the issue, there is NO GOOD REASON for this place to not continue its existence. Why can’t Bruce be a man and tell the truth? That he simply doesn’t want to deal with it anymore, or that he’s gotten lazy or busy or he’s having a mid-life crisis or whatthefuckever. That it’s because the site isn’t supporting itself is utter bullshit, because there are very simple solutions to that.

I moved over to prosebox last June, and I love it there. It’s fresh and new and smells nice, but I was still always here, whenever I could actually fucking log on. I was always still hopeful that something good would happen over here. At the same time, and I specifically remember writing this, I rather hoped that Bruce would shut down the site and put everyone out of their misery. What I didn’t think about, were all the diaries of the members we’ve lost, and whose diaries some of us would revisit from time to time. It’s kind of like how you would go visit someone’s grave and talk to them. I think that’s really bothering me a lot, that I won’t be able to go over to Paula’s diary every so often and tell her I miss her. I don’t give a shit about my own diary. It’s downloaded and preserved to me, But I don’t want to lose Paula’s diary. I wish I could download it, as well.

So in a sense, I feel like Bruce is desecrating a sacred place, a graveyard, without removing the graves to another location. There are so many folks who cannot download their diaries, because they are no longer on this earth, and what happens to those words. They are still so valuable.

This is why I think Bruce is a douchebag. And that’s a word I usually reserve for my ex-husband.