11314 barrage pt 2

1.) If I had to sum up everything wrong with my generation I s’pose a picture of a My Little Pony in a fedora would be a good start.

2.) Honestly, if you’re planning to land at EITHER Branson Missouri airport, you’re in for trouble. That place is Vegas for religious zealots.

3.) Enough of this Ivy League I’m-so-happy-to-be-part-of-tradition teacher-says-I’m-ever-so-clever SNL-style comedy. Bring the new.

4.) If you win America’s Cup, you’ll find it arrives full of regatta cheese.

5.) A tissue designed specifically for use in self-pleasure called Peenex.

6.) Erotic fiction about Sleestaks entitled “Land of the Lust”.

7.) A mash-up of “Shine On You Crazy Diamond” and the Joplin version of “Summertime”.

8.) Watching paint dry is actually better than most network comedy these days because at least the process of drying is kind of a narrative.