11014 barrage part 2

1.) The best gift an artist or semi-artist can receive is not succeeding when you’re young, when you’d get locked into daft things.

2.) Multiple times a day, Prince Harry uses the royal wii.

3.) We don’t have to pretend olives aren’t terrible now! We have so many foods to choose from, it is no longer necessary.

4.) Any time you want someone to REALLY believe your factoid, lapse into a robot voice when you say it.

5.) If his goal was to have a wet dream then emission accomplished.

6.) Write, in the 2nd-person, twelve paragraphs full of things most people would want to hear. VOILA. You are now an astrologer!

7.) Has Ron Jeremy ever played a character called Edgar Allen Porn? If not, how could that possibly be?

8.) Decapitated Loki, the Headless Norseman.

9.) If you SEE something stupid, SAY something stupid.

10.) For my generation “party like it’s 1999” now means “party like you were still in your twenties & not beaten down by life yet”.