1/4/2014 barrage

1.) TIVO is banal-retentive.

2.) Why can’t the damn theme to TAXI last three or four hours longer? Some days I wanna just listen to that on a loop.

3.) Did Kyle Gass ever play Danny McBride’s brother on EASTBOUND AND DOWN? It seems like a no-brainer.

4.) The only good thing I can say about PBR is that at least it is honest in naming itself after the sound you make vomiting it up. “PPPBRrrrr”.

5.) Oh, wait, can college football have a Cotton Mouth Bowl in Denver now? Please stage an entire sporting event for one quick joke.

6.) An NPR show about the family in Breaking Bad being in denial called “Walt, Walt, Don’t Tell Me”.

7.) Convincing yourself that everyone you never asked out would have said “no” anyway is hell on the self-esteem but it lets one sleep at night.

8.) Seven Habits Of Highly Cloistered People. Just a buncha pictures of nun clothes.

9.) Pavlov proffered piquant pecans to puppies, how many puppies proffered piquant pecans are predictably presently pissed?

10.) Sure, Pokemon can cause seizures but Super Mario Brothers 2 causes doki-doki panic attacks.