warning: selfish rant…

just thought I’d warn you all that this entry is going to be a little self indulged….

the other day I was at work…. and then I just kinda got hit with this overwhelming sense that I dont have many good friends….like…. its kinda hard to explain what i was feeling exactly…. something along the lines of : while I habe my best friends : Bryan (being most important) then Lauren and Wyatt…. besides that I feel like I kinda dont have ay friends that value me highly as like a best friend or someone to hang out with regularly… I mean…. it seems I’m not the type of person that jumps into peoples minds when they think " who should I catch up with this weekend" or "I know who would be fun to hang out with" it feels like most of my friends… and nerly all of my friends from school wait for me to call them to do something or that type of thing…. if u get what I mean…. sometimes I feel like I can chase them to try and arrange to do something but no-one’s ever chasing me…. Alice is cool…. she calls me sometimes with an offer but i seem to slip under most peoples radar….Thank god I’ve got Bryan, I think I’d be very lonely and depressed if I didnt have him…. he makes me feel like I’m the most special person in the world and I know that he’d pick me over anyone if he had a choice…. and i feel that way for him too…. I just kinda wish some other people were even half enthused to do something every now and then and call me rather then me having to call them all the time….

now I understand that people get busy and its common for people to lose touch after school…. but it feels like I’m losing touch with the people I work with… or used to work with.,….or I dunno…..

I’m sorry to be so selfish and narrow minded…. but I felt so alone at work the other day I almost cried… I was so happy to come home to Bryan, he really completes me… as soppy as that sounds…. its the truth…. I felt so bad, but seeing his face changed it alll…..

I’ll finish there… before I start repeating myself….