Letdown

I still am not any better. I thought I was yesterday – I took a nice, long, hot shower before the ND game, got myself all pretty and actually thought I might be rounding the corner.

We watched the game – they won, which was great and then we headed out for a very abbreviated version of running errands. Stopped by Barnes and Noble to spend a gift card from my birthday, went to Uptown Kitchen for dinner, to the store to pick up a few things and home. We retreated to our separate rooms – Brian to watch more college football and me to watch The Other Boleyn Girl, which I liked more than I thought I would. After that. . .I was feeling pretty frisky so basically came into the living room and jumped Brian. He was pleasantly surprised and the next hour was something we both desperately needed, after the long week we had.

And then to sleep, right? WRONG! The second my stupid head hit the pillow *cough, cough*. Got up, took some cough medicine, drank some water, laid down again. *cough, cough* Get up, desperate enough to actually rub some of that Vick’s stuff on my chest and lay back down again. *cough,cough*

That is how it went ALL. NIGHT. LONG. I am so tired of it – I can’t remember the last time I had a cough like this, probably when I was a little kid? I finally got up and went into the spare bedroom so Brian could get some sleep, even though he swore I wasn’t keeping him up. I dozed off and on in there for about 3-4 hours and finally came back to bed around 4am. I never really fell asleep for any length of time until around 8am . . . and I ended up sleeping until around noon.

That ain’t gonna cut it, kids when I go back to work tomorrow. I HAVE to be on top of my game to do all this training with my departing boss. I am going to the pharmacy this afternoon and begging them for something stronger, though I have no idea what it may be and then tomorrow, I am calling my doctor and begging HIM for some stronger cough meds. I have no idea if such a thing exists and if it doesn’t, then someone will be giving me something to knock my ass out so I sleep my way through the coughing.

I feel terrible – Brian had been so great all week long but I sense today his patience is wearing mighty thin. I mentioned something about going to the pharmacy and he made a sarcastic comment about having to go out AGAIN to the drugstore. Things are falling apart around the house – at least the duties that are my responsibily like dusting and laundry. I have 80 loads of laundry to do, trying to get this sickness out of the house – when I first woke up this morning, he offered to help me with some of them but after another couple of hours of listening to me cough, I feel like he was weary enough to retract that but he didn’t.

So, my plans today are few – laundry, as much as I can stand, getting to the pharmacy some how, some way and relaxing on my last day of freedom before the work week starts once again. I have another movie to watch I rented on Friday, so I am looking forward to that.

My friend, Carol made an interesting observation when I spoke to her this morning – it appears that I have gotten sick more in the past year than I have in the whole time she has known me. I thought about it and it feels true. We have worked together off and on for over 10 years now and used to laugh at the poor saps that would catch every bug going around the office while we would stay healthy. No stomach flus for us, strep never touched us, colds were few and far between. She said it seems that I have gotten sick more since I have lost this last bit of weight and might I be TOO skinny now?

I never really thought about it and really don’t agree but the correlation between the two is quite a coincidence. I am back down to almost 107 pounds again, since I have been sick this past week and it is definitely the smallest I have ever been in my adult life. I am WELL within the ranges of reasonable weights for someone of my height – only 5 feet tall – but what if it doesn’t have something to do with it? Like my body is too frail or something to put up the fight against disease that it used to? Seems ridiculous but here I am, an active, 35 year old woman who exercises regularly, eats well, low body fat, healthy weight and I am getting sick more often than a 60 year old woman who smokes, eats complete shit and hasn’t exercised a day in her life? What’s fair about that????