Just Another Week*

I am finding it harder to write in here – not sure why. I think it may be because I feel like I only come here to bitch, to complain, to feel sorry for myself so maybe if I stay away, I will be more positive or something. I know – stupid, right?

I miss some of my old favs – some haven’t updated in months and I really found their lives very interesting. You know how you are – not trying to make you feel bad at all, just reaching out to tell you I have been thinking about you.

No new news on my job – I still haven’t sat down with my boss’s boss for her little talk she BS’ed me about last week. I do have a plan though – I am sending her a meeting invite for tomorrow before I leave today, at the advice of many of you. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, let her address the issue on her own, say something to me and it has been complete silence, every since last Tuesday. We will see how she responds. We also are supposed to be getting our annual salary increases before the end of the month – would be nice if she could just give that to me at the same time. Again, I am not expecting much but every little bit helps.

I got brave . . .and mouthy last Friday and did something I am still a little shocked by. Our newest feel good, buzz thing around here is our firm values code. They are asking that every employee sign this single sheet of paper saying we are going to live the firm values everyday. Oh, give me a break! I have dragged my feet turning this damn thing in because I think the whole thing is stupid, pointless and just offensive. Don’t sit here and make me sign this piece of paper about our values when someone like my old boss acts the way she acts and treats people the way she does and nothing is done about it.

I got a little nastigram on Friday about how I hadn’t turned it in, so I finally turned to my boss (the one that is leaving) and told her exactly why. She was surprised but said she agreed I shouldn’t sign it until I could believe the meaning behind it and encouraged me to seek out the HR person sending these E-mail reminders and tell HER why. She said she would want to know and that she was a good person who would listen.

I wasn’t too thrilled about it but I did want to find out what would happen if I didn’t sign this dumb thing so I e-mailed her and in most general of terms, told HER why.

She wrote back immediately, saying nothing would happen if I didn’t sign it but they really wanted to talk to everyone who didn’t want to sign it to find out why and if there were any issues with people that needed to be addressed. She asked if she could set up a meeting for us to talk face to face about it.

I was very leery, but told her sure – very unsure what I would say to her once this meeting came. She scheduled it for 1pm today so I had the whole weekend to think about what I wanted to say. I wasn’t sure how much detail I would be willing to share but you know me – big mouth that I am, I just let everything spill today. I told her why I left the department, specific instances with my old boss, things she did, didn’t do, all of the people who left before me, how I felt for the people who were left, why they were all unhappy, how we had tried to talk to upper management, everyone and nothing has been done all these years. She was just shocked – her mouth hung open practically the entire time we talked. She asked all the right questions and I felt frustration and sympathy just pouring off her.

She swears she is going to follow up on this and keep me in the loop on who she talks to, what they said, what has been said and what changes are going to take place. She says things will change, something will be done and I told her that we all would believe it when we saw it. I told her almost everyone in the department left feels the exact same way but will never come forward because they figured – what is the point? That nothing will be done. And that they are also fearful that if nothing is done, they will be treated differently for saying something, even though this all is supposed to be confidential.

I talked with some of my former department members this afternoon and some were excited and some were fearful because regardless, the bottle has been opened. We can’t put the genie back in – SOMETHING is going to be said to my former boss and her boss. And unfortunately for them, they are the ones who are left and will have to deal with the aftermath, not me. I told them to try and look on it as their opportunity to be heard – this HR person wants to talk to everyone, but would like them to come forward and few, if any, will. I might have 2 on the hook but in the end, I told them all they had to do what felt right for them.

I want to believe something will change – I want to believe in a company like this, someone will step in and not let an entire department of people continue to get shit on year after year after year. That their careers are not entirely in the toilet because they have noone looking out for them, helping them get to that next level they all deserve. I wanted to be that person and she wouldn’t let me. I hope and pray for all of them, that someone recognizes that and does something about it.

*EDIT* My boss’s boss just accepted my meeting invite, even though she is not here. She must be working from home. So, I guess tomorrow is D Day!