Guilt

Ok , I feeling insanely guilty right now – let me explain the situation:

My brother moved down to Florida in April 2001 and we followed right behind him in July of that same year. We lasted a full 10 months before we moved back to Indiana. He still lives there to this day.

My parents retired in August 2004 and moved down to Florida, the same town that my brother lives in.

My husband’s brother sold all of his worldly possessions and moved in with us for 3 months in 2004. In December of that year, HE moved down to Florida as well – to the same town my brother and my parents live in.

SO – what happens when we want to go to Florida to visit family?

Well – one would hope that our families could get along and we might actually be able to spend time with them both at the same. No such luck! My family is very conservative, my dad can be an asshole from time to time while Brian’s family is very liberal, laid back, swear like truckers and love to tie one on. So, let’s just say we never have really found a meeting of the minds between these two groups – as hard as I might try.

So, Brian’s mom E-mails me today – mentioning the fact that Brian and I are heading down there for a visit at the end of October. #1 – I love Brian’s mom dearly and know her very well. #2 – I know her well enough to know that she was a little miffed that we booked plane tickets without telling her first . . . and inviting her to come with us.

She suggests that maybe, we could go back for a visit in May 2009 – me, Brian and her, together. We tried this once before – in April 2007 and from my point of view, it did not go well at all. Brian and I stayed with my parents while his mom stayed with his brother and we were the only ones with a rental car – his mom having no way to get herself around except his brother. Then, his brother lives about 30 minutes away from my parents and brother – doesn’t seem that far – except when you have to drive it 4 times in one day shuttling people back and forth and visiting with one family and then another.

I feel like we spent most of that vacation in the car, not relaxing at all – it was just plain WORK to keep all of our respective family members happy. Were we spending more time with one group than another? Well – we just did something with his family yesterday, shouldn’t we be with mine now? It was an utter nightmare. . .and now his mom wants to do it AGAIN? Oh HELL no.

I feel bad telling her no because she doesn’t feel comfortable enough to go down and visit his brother on her own – her brother is a moody sort and I know she feels like going down and staying with him for a week might cramp his style. She doesn’t know her way around the town at all to even rent a car and take off on her own for a day or two. She does not enjoy being in unfamiliar territory driving which is why it is so much easier to go with us and let us shuttle her around – since we know the town so well.

But, I stuck to my guns, politely E-mailed her back and said the following:

Yes. I feel VERY fortunate that we can head down to Florida in October. It was kind of a last minute thing – we really had wanted to go somewhere else but with prices being so high, it just made the most sense right now, money-wise. I am not sure if we will be going down next year at all – to be honest – my parents will both be up here for 2-3 weeks in the summer so we might use our vacation dollars and time to head somewhere else – maybe New York City, like Brian has wanted to the past few years. I guess it will depend on his job situation and what he feels like doing.

We love going to Florida but there are just so many other places we want to see and experience. Hopefully, one of these days, if B (Brian’s brother) wants to spend a lot of time with all of us, he can come up here for a visit too. It is just so tough for me, personally, to split my time down there between B and my folks. Not their fault and not B’s fault – just the way it is. Feels like you are being pulled in 2 different directions and all I want to do is relax and be on vacation!!! 🙂

She is not an ogre, she won’t be PISSED at me but I know she will be disappointed. And so will Brian’s brother. He doesn’t want to come back up here to visit – I don’t know why. He says this town is boring, there is nothing to do, he lives in FLORIDA, for God’s sake with sun and beaches and fun . . . yet every time we go down there to visit him, we spend most of our time camped out on his couch, watching TV and movies and drinking. Excuse me – we can do that in Indiana too!

*sigh* So, I am the one sitting here feeling bad and I know I shouldn’t. I really do love his mom and hate to let her down but this is just going to have to be something she needs to do on her own.

On another note – I got my new phone and adore it! I will admit the touch screen can be tricky but there at least 1-2 different ways to do almost any function so you just have the figure out which is the easiest one to use. It’s just new – I am sure in another couple of weeks, I will be able to use it like a pro!

I took my aunt out to lunch today – happy 49th birthday, you, old lady, you! I can’t believe she is going to be 50 next year. . . I will have to post a recent picture of her soon. You certainly wouldn’t know by looking at her that she was anywhere in the ballpark of 50. I hope I look as good as her when I get that age!