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Rosie just got back from her third walk today. Mich was home in the afternoon and gave her a short walk before she went back to school. I hope Rosie is happy. We think this is the first time in her life that she’s been an only dog and gotten all the attention for herself. I’m sure she likes the attention part, but I hope that she isn’t too lonely during the day. The walks have been pretty structured. Amos liked to take us on different paths every day and I’ll never forget my summer with him last year. I never knew where we were going to go and he even got me lost one day. Rosie never walked on a leash before we got her. Walking was stressful at first and an unfamiliar path is still a bit stressful for her. I just started a new “evening” walk for her. So, now at least she has a little variety. She knows the way and will lead me along until we get back home. Recently, she has been stopping at the front of the house and staring at the door, but I tell her that we go in the back door. She’s so very smart.
 
I like to follow them on these walks. I don’t like to be the leader. I feel like I built up some nasty karma with Buster. I used to get SO frustrated and mad at him because he would just stop walking. He would plop his ass down and wouldn’t move. I thought he was being stubborn and would literally try to drag him. I’m an asshole. We now know that bone cancer is extremely painful for them. I’m such an ass… Goldens love to go for walks, and play, and eat… they LIVE to please us. When they don’t want to do these things, there is something wrong. I still haven’t forgiven myself for the way I used to be with him. He could be a very frustrating dog, but I should have never been unkind.
 
Is it just me or does anyone else hate dinner. Breakfast and lunch I know what to do and what to eat, but dinners are a pain in the ass. And Mich hates them too. Mich has started to say that she wants to quit school and stay home and be a house wife — take Rosie for a walk every day, go to the gym, go for a bike ride, but she hates to do anything in the kitchen. She told her classmate/very good friend this, and her friend told her she’s a lazy housewife. LOL I’ve gotten to the point where I think I’ll just start bringing home dinner on the nights that I come home from work and she’s here… because I just don’t feel like cooking after the long drive. I don’t expect her to be slaving away and have my dinner on the table when I get there, but the thought of even prepping dinner doesn’t even cross her mind. So, now I call her a lazy housewife all the time. We can laugh about it.
 
But, when she was whining and saying she wanted to quit school and do all of those things, I told her I would love that too, but I really don’t want to work until I’m 80. I am counting on her graduating and getting a job she likes. I’m counting on it because in a year or two I need to look for another job. I can’t do this commute forever and I really would love to be closer to home. The high pay is keeping me there now because I’m the only one working. And that’s ok because I don’t hate my job. It’s still not busy enough for me. I’m sorta resigned myself to the fact that NO job I ever take will be busy enough. At least at this job I don’t have to feign busy work.
 
But I don’t want to be the leader. I want to be in it together. I want to build the path together and one day be able to retire together.