relationship status or lack thereof

actually I have a relationship status. it’s single.

so I’m single. as put. This isn’t new I’ve been officially single since Feb. the past………10 months wow almost a year.

um. The last time I contacted my ex was back at the end of Sept. It didn’t go well. We were on good terms when we broke up, back in Feb. I emailed him, as said, back in Sept. and I’m like hey if you want to go get coffee or lunch or something let me know. I gave him my new #. and I also told him a lot had happened, including *Sage[/aka Pat. he, was my best friend. Pat I mean. Pat] ‘s passing. I didn’t give my ex any details didn’t push him.

And he responded. he started the email w/ ‘ok don’t say you…’ I’ve not read the rest of it and I don’t want to. and maybe I’m not ready to. [actually I’m not ready to]. you know, I was expecting something like ‘hey thank you for emailing me I’m sorry about your friend I’m not ready to get together’. [which, ok, he’s probably not]. you know, something civil.

I’ve not contacted my ex since.

[some backround info: my ex and I got together 2 yrs. ago this Dec. 2. we met at the bar. and we were together a year and 2 months until last Feb. the weekend before valentine’s day. was when we broke up].

I mean I’m still in love with him and I still care about him. and I miss being w/ someone. but the feeling’s not mutual. or maybe it is. I really haven’t, you know, straight up asked him that.

*more backround info: Sage/Pat was, as said, my best friend. we met at the bar in, like Nov. of last year he passed back in March. there’s more bout that in here. but not as much as I could’ve put. more to be added. there are a lot of entries to get through before you get to that one].

so. yeah.