life sucks

Ahh.. did u ever have one of those things in your head where u didn’t know what to do about it. Well, im going threw that right now.

As u know i hate men right now. And when im set on that and im not looking to meet someone i do. And its hard because this person has all the love in the world and im just standing here not knowing what to do. He makes me laugh and feel good about my self. I don’t have to hide the fact that im pregnant and was used and thrown to the curb. Hes there, when ever for what ever. Of course in the beginning im just standing there waiting for the punch line. Of oh.. im in a relationship or im just looking for sex. But, it hasnt came. I smile when im around him. And when ever i think about him. he knows that right now all that matters to me is my baby and my family and he has no problem with that.. hes a great friend. Theres times i want to just have him hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay and im going to be a good mom. Believe me, hes told me he wants to, but wants to wait till im happy and comfertable. Till then he wants me to just smile and be happy..

What happens if this is the person i should care for and im not even taking the time to be honest with myself..??

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!