Void of Fun

I started a pity party for myself. Why am I always the one that says someone is going to get hurt. Dont play so rough. Slow down. I am always the on that is so cautious and watching over everyone so that no one gets hurt. While Dick on the other hand is the one that plays rough, wrestles around out in the wet grass with all the kids in the neighborhood. Then he gets to be the hero to entertain them by riding verticals on the 4-wheeler. I am in the house watching out the kitchen window, just about having a heart attack and the kids think that it is the greatest thing in the world to see him flying across the yard on the back wheels and dragging the rack on the ground. All I can see is some freak accident happening where he hits a ridge and the 4-wheeler goes flying ~ landing on the pile of children in our yard.

I have been pissed off about that since Sunday night.

I always say that I want to be the irresponsible one for once! Yet when I am irresponsible ~ even by accident I feel like crap. Nadine went on the 8th Grade class trip. (It was snowing in Bismarck Thursday so they did not get to go to the zoo.) She was to arrive back at the school at midnight ~ Friday night/Saturday morning ~ and we live three miles away from the school. Even when Alexa called me to inform me that Dick had left and he had been drinking it did not dawn on me that Nadine would need a ride home. At 12:15 I remembered that Nadine was coming home. I was sick to my stomach and could have very easily gone into an anxiety attack! I kept that under control because I could feel it coming on. I was so upset that I had forgotten that Nadine was coming home. I felt so irresponsible!! That is the worst feeling I have had in a long time.

In the end she had called Dick and he gave her permission to stay with a friend. Thank God! At least he did not plan on picking her up after he had been drinking.

Well it is almost three AM already ~ how time flies when you are having fun! I am going to find my pillows and blanket! Tired!

We finally had a beautiful day! Maybe we will get a summer after all.

GFAFB