Mad Woman!

If you’d like to read about he Dru Sjodin case this is the link to the articles in the local newspaper

Yes, right after the movie I got pissy. Alexa had left her sweater or something in GW’s car ~ who was parked across the parking lot from where I was parked so she walked to GW’s car with them and I said that I would drive over and get her. I came driving up and she is running towards the still moving car. So I freaked out! What if she had fallen on the ice and slid under the car? Stranger things have happened! Maybe I am a little freaky but damn it anyway! I told her “you are no good to me dead. I can not scream and holler at you when you are dead.” I think that she knows me well enough by now to know that it was a jokingly statement even if I used my “serious mom” voice.

Now I am bothered that I yelled at her because I was pretty harsh.

She was in the front seat with me so I asked her to call home and have Dad start heating the hotdish so that it would be ready when we got home. She called his cell phone, which is a normal habit. As predicted he answered. But not predicted he was not at home! Remember the statement from earlier? “They want to do something but I don’t feel like doing anything.” What the hell happened to not feeling like doing anything? He was at his friends’ house! Oh, I get it you don’t want to do anything that does not involve drinking or involves me and/or the kids!

Okay so now I am really pissy and he finds that out after I hung up on him then called him back to ask him if he has done anything to get me a headlamp. I knew that the answer was NO. So of course I could not leave it at that I had to show the really bitch in me. “So you can take the time to drink with your friends but you can not do something for me that I definitely need to have done. Then hung up!

But I have to keep in mind that I am the bitch and I am the horrible parent in this whole situation.

I don’t need just a bulb. I need the whole assembly! It has a leak somewhere and water condensates in there. Now that it is winter that condensation freezes. I could just as well turn off my headlights to drive at night. I can see just as much without them. I keep them on for the other motorists.

We got home and we hauled in the stuff that I bought at Wal*Mart and the grocery store. I had the hotdish heating and the table set. The kids were sitting at the table getting ready to eat supper when Dick walked in. Right away he orders Tyler to go take a shower. WTF?!? I said to Dick “Tyler is going to eat supper first and then he is going to go take a shower!” I did not yell but I did use a firm voice.

Damn, I was hoping that I would feel better after I vented but I don’t feel any better. If anything I feel worse. I am not sure how much more I can handle. But I know that it is my own fault ~ I am not going anywhere and I am not going to ask him to leave. If he wants to leave he will leave on his own. I am choosing my own destiny and that is to live miserably with an alcoholic or I could ignore the illness.

So why should I be crying a river when I do nothing about my complaint!?