Disrespectful Behavior ~ I am Naughty

If you’d like to read about he Dru Sjodin case this is the link to the articles in the local newspaper

I was really tired when we got home from town so I took the crock pot of leftover meatballs and gravy out of the fridge and turned them on low. I was going to have a snooze. That is what I did until P called and asked if I had a Windows 98 disc. I don’t have that but I do have the Recovery discs so she decided to drive out and get it. She deleted something from her computer so now when it starts up it gets so far then quits. We did not discuss the brand of computer she has. I have and HP but hers is something else so my discs would not help her. She left taking the jar of Fire Balls that no one here will eat. She wanted to pay me for it, hell no. No one will eat them take them before they get soft.

After she left I fed the kids and sat down to watch some television. I think that I found something to watch but I am not sure because I fell asleep again and slept until Dick got home. Actually I slept off and on from the time P left until Dick got home because I made Tyler take a shower and Alexa told me that she was going to bed.

I can sleep on cue during the daylight hours and I can sleep during the dark hours if I am already sleeping. Once it gets dark outside I have a tough time getting to sleep. Is this common or am I just weird?

When Dick got home he was drunk. I could tell by his voice. The guy that he went with was drunk (I could tell by his voice too) and he still had to get back to town. I heard him say that he would take the back road.

Dick came in and started harping on the kids right away. I let it go the first time but when he started the second time within minutes I could not just sit there and listen to it ~ again! I told him to just leave them alone. Then he started in on me about how he is the one that has to get them up in the morning because I never get up. And how they would still be in bed if he just left in the morning.

I was having none of that and I was in no mood to argue with him because I got really crabby the second I heard him talk when he got home.

I bet I shocked the shit right out of him when I started screaming at the top of my lungs!

“Fuck off!”

When he continued to speak he got:

“Fuck off, Dick”

That still did not stop him but after the third “fuck off” he shut up. But I heard him mumbling about having to listen to my shit all night. Meaning the television or computer. I thought about giving him one more “Fuck off” but that would have been going overboard! 🙂

I really do not know where that came from because I do not talk to him or scream at him like that. It is just rude and disrespectful but I lost my mind for a minute.

I have not been bitching about his drinking. I have been ignoring it because being mad takes too much energy so why waste my energy for nothing. If I could get any results from letting him know that I am angry about it, that would not be a waste of energy. But I get no results other than more drinking from him.

His drinking has escalated to buying half gallons of whiskey. He finished the bottle that was almost full plus one more. He had that one in the cupboard from when he stopped drinking and it sat up there for over two years. He is now on his third half gallon. I am not quite sure of the time span because I don’t know when he finished the left over bottle and bought a new one. I know that it was two different bottles because I had marked the one from when he stopped drinking just to see if he was sneaking mixed drinks. He never touched that bottle because when I marked it I set it just so that way I would know if he even moved the bottle.

The monitoring begins!

The sneaking really pisses me off! Friday night when I came home from work he was across the road trying to pull the neighbors van out of a snow bank. When he came in the house he had a bottle of beer. Fine they gave him a bottle of beer for helping them but he left the open bottle sitting on the dryer rather than just bringing it in and drinking it. Like he was trying to hide it from me. So he knows that his drinking upsets me but he does nothing to control it.

So here I am all pissed off (on the inside) about his drinking. I talk to the kids all the time about his drinking. I tell them what could happen and what will happen if/when he gets stopped. Today he was not driving but he was in no better condition than the driver was.

I really need to apologize to the kids for my outburst tonight. Even those who were sleeping could not possibly sleep through that! These kids do not need to be exposed to this type of behavior. Yet they do not have to put up with him not remembering that he had just been in their room harping on them either. And I don’t even know which is the lesser of two evils.