THE ONE

is it possible to love someone you just met? I seem to fall for men I cant have. But this one, Zachary, I do want. More than I wanted Kahwann, more than Charles wanted me and more than I needed Ron. Ron was the great love of my life. i thought no one could take his place. But Zach did…is doing so. My friend who used to be in love with this guy and then one day met the perfect man she ended up marrying told me Miss J your life can change in a matter of minutes. I now believe her I do. Ive known the guy for 2 years. He got in contact with me on my birthday. and even in that time talking to him i felt some kind of connection with him. but meeting him recently just skyrocketted that to a whole other level.

its hard to explain without sounding cheesy. and we all know i hate cheesy. but i havent been happy like that in a loooong time than when i was with him. In relationships ive always kinda felt like the man, bossy, controlling and so forth. but with him, even tho he is much younger than me, ive never felt more safe and girlie. he makes it okay for me to be vuneerable and sensetive. and i like the feeling. ive never in my entire life felt as comfrotable as i do with him. I mean comfrotable. holding hands in public, kissing in front of strangers. the whole 9. Ive never ever been kool with that/ but with him its like the outside world doesnt exisit and its just us. its weird. its almost like a dream. like there is no way in hell i could feel like this after a short time. is this what ppl mean when they say i loved you from the first moment i met you? i just feel giddy all day when i think of him or when i talk to him. i miss him everyday. every single day. he just makes me feel special. and its almost like i cant believe i deserve it. i cant possibly deserve a great nice sweet funny sexy guy like him can i? he cant possibly really want to be with me? im living someone elses life or im gonna wake up from this dream.

the only issue is he lives in Idaho and I’m in New York. its damn near impossible to have a relationship with someone on the other side of the United States. we both dont wanna move to the opposit state so what is there to do? it brings me down thinking about it. but this is my life. i fall for men i cant have….even tho I know he is THE ONE…