rambling

This morning was the worst subway ride I’ve had in a long time. For some reason I was completely on edge this morning and every little thing set me off. There was a guy on the train standing very close to me and he thought it was okay to unwrap little hard candies and throw the wrapper on the floor. He did it 3 times—once dropping it on a man shoes (he apologized) but he proceeded to continue doing it. But that wasnt the worst part. Over the music coming from my headphone I could hear him smacking on the candy, mouth fully open, hands in his pocket swaying back and forth like he didn’t have a care in the world. It seemed to get louder and louder and the train pushed forward. It was getting on my nerves. The sound made me cringe and I imagined me wrapping my hands around his throat and squeezing. The picture alone brought me pleasure, and I realized that I wasn’t even myself anymore. I had temporarily gone insane. had I really cut off the man’s air supply and left him motionless on the train I could plead temporarily insanity. The shit does happen ppl. People do lose their minds for very, and not so very brief moments.

the funny things is this incident wasnt even the worst part of the train ride. No No No, there was more, but I don’t feel like sharing. Ij ust went to get lunch at my fav pizza spot with my gay friend Gabe. This is where we agreed again to have a baby together in the next 3 years if we are both still unattached. the plan is looking more promising than ever-HA. I adore that boy. he is pretty much a female me in a male version, if that even makes sense.

The air is still crisp with a heavy bite but the sunshine is flooding in introducing a small piece of Spring that i hope will finally come to visit for awhile. I’m so tired of the greyness outside.

I’m reading The New Moon now. Just finished Twilight 2 days ago. Its keeping my mind occupied. I don’t want to think about other things right now. It will just depress me, and if warm weather is headed this way I want to be the friendly face that welcomes it.