put in work

Looks like I tripped and fell back in love with the best friend, HIM. Yeah him. I mean I suppose it never really went away but the light was so dim I could barely see it. Let alone feel it. But things are different now, only slightly now. In my heart of hearts I have hope. I have faith. Especially looking at my mother. The same mother who had a relationship just like me and Ron’s when she was a teenager. The same woman who went thru 3 marriages before she ended up with her best friend in her 40’s. Now all the relationship guru’s are saying you have to think like a man in order to know men. They are saying you shouldn’t listen to females cause what do that know. Well I do agree with that, but I have to follow examples as well. And that’s why I think in my heart of hearts I will too end up with my best friend, the love of my life, the reason I know what love is. And so things are slightly different. Not really because he has done anything specific. But the past couple of days has just been good talking to him. I’m sleeping better, I’m waking up without problems and I’m happy. All. Day. Long! I feel happy because I feel loved. That’s what it boils down to.

Whether he knows the deepest feelings of my soul is irrelevant. I know. I care. I wait. I am gonna be fine. I’ve loved him long enough that there no way it’s going away, and no way that I want it to. It is what it is. He is the greatest love of my life and even if I am 69 still loving him all alone with my many many dogs, I will be okay. Even if I am 72 and I was married to a man for 30 years who left me before I could leave him I’d still be in love with Ron cause that’s just how it goes. That it my life.

I am just going to sit back and enjoy this ride, even the stop signs, road blocks, new routes and dead ends. The destination is always the greatest part about the journey. The journey is the story. And we all know how I enjoy a good story! So I will just sit back and let the pieces fall as they may. Cause a puzzle is nothing without the work behind it. And trust me when I say I have put in work….