meet me on Memory Lane.

so we moved. yeah yeah yeah. but we moved right down the street from Senika. this morning i woke up in a great mood. i only had to press snooze once. the sun was shinging and the breeze was lovely. i even had the windows rolled down on my way to work. but then my mood changed. maybe it was a song lyric or the way the sun blinded me for but a few seconds. but as i rolled past senkia’s house a picture that i took of her at AMC 24 when we were in highschool flashed in my head and i become severely nostalgic. it hit me like a ton of bricks and i couldnt breathe for a few. thats the kind of person i am. i hold onto every memory. good. bad. painful. u name it. its there in my brain like a flling cabinet. i dont know i was so effected at that moment.

but i was sad. extremely. just the flood of memories that came through figurativly drowned me. i missed her. wanted the old days back. even when i know the kind of person she is. we used to have soooo much fun. we were always together, always trippen. ppl thought we were sisters. twins even. go figure. im not gonna lie. i miss those days. i miss the relationship we had. but like i was telling heidi today there comes a point where u have to let shit go. and i had let them go, but driving down our street past her house eVeRyDaY just brings back so much and i dont have a choice but to travel back down memory lane. *deep sigh*

but there are ppl who arent ment to stay in ur life forever. they have their own issues that they have to work out. it has nothing to do with u, its on them. i give ppl second chances…sometimes thirds. but if ur not willing to meet me halfway then what can i do. i cant stay up nights worrying about u. thinking about what ive done wrong, what i could have done better. that isnt my job. i know im a good person. i know i am a good friend. ill be there when u need me. and frankly if u do me wrong and i give u another chance (being the bigger person of course) and possibly a third then u dont deserve to have me in ur life. it sucks, and it hurts, and ur left with a lot of unanswered questions, but u cant do it. u gotta let go and move on. for ur sake.

but yeah i get nostalgic sometimes. but i have to remember the kind of person she is. ppl like her are poison. let them hurt someone else. u have the antadote (?) to rid them. u just gotta be strong enough to use it. their loss.