I’m such an old lady

and 28 isn’t even old. Isn’t it like the new 18 or something? I moved to NY 4 years ago and I don’t even know the person I was then. Whoever she was she was funny and exciting and gangsta and just F-A-B. I could party all night, drink all night and still function the next day. I had energy and was full of life. I wanted to be out in the streets. I didnt wanna be home sitting on the couch doing nothing.

But thats who I am now…a fucking couch potato. And I love it. Live for it. I wanna be home relaxing wasting time. Maybe its because I totally exhausted when I get off of work. Maybe its because all I do is work. And lets talk about work for a minute shall we. I HATE MY JOB. I dont know why I thought restaurant management was for me. Just because I’m good at it doesn’t mean I should make it my career. I’m absolutely totally miserable. I hate waking up and knowing I have to go in a deal with rude snotty rich people who waste their money on our overpriced semi tasty food. I HATE THEM. I HATE SEEING THE SAME PPL EEEEEEEEVERY SINGLE DAY.

This job is slowly killing me and turning me into a 40 year old woman. I work every weekend, nights. so I have no life, no time to do anything but put in 50/60 hours at a place that give me migraines and stomach pains. DId I mention this place is killing me?

So I am going to walk away. I told my district manager that I am quitting because I am unhappy, borderline depressed…and she cried and wished me well. Now if I can just make it til June to collect on my bonus and 2 week vacation I’ll be a happy woman.

Next I have to get out of NY..before I really start to hate it. Its just too much for me now. now that I’m getting older and realizing what I want and need out of life. New York can no longer provide for me. I wanna go home and be with my family and friends. I want to breathe. and think. and write. and have a baby. and just be HAPPY.

But until then I’m nothing but a lil old lady.