diet

Love is a very powerful and dangerous emotion, I think I have written this b4. But it is true. Loving someone can make you feel and do crazy things. Things beyond your control. Its scary and freeing. Like flying through the air without a saftely net.

I just finished a book called "Midnight" by Sister Souldjah and it was simple amazing. About a young Muslin boy and his pregnant mother traveling From Africa to live in Brooklyn NY. In their country they were rich and well loved and respected but due to something that happend to his father they fled to the states where the 7 year old kid grew and struggled to keep his faith in such a foreign land. The majority of this story took place when he was 14 and his young sister was 7. He was strong, smart, deep and detailed. He was a buisness man, a trained ninja, an excellent basketball player, a virgin, a mama’s boy, a loving brother, a protector of all women and a believer. He fell is love with a 16 year old genuis Japanese artist who spoke no English. They fell in love even tho they could not speak to each other. She didnt know English and he didnt know Japanese. They married at their young ages. It was built on feelings alone. And they decided to marry young and get to know each other as they grew.

This book was very powerful and beautiful to me and I learned so much about Muslins. I am a christian but I do belive the ways of their lives are pure and shouldnt be mocked or looked down on. I dont know I just have a new found outlook on life after reading this story of this very mature 14 year old kid.

I dont know I just feel like I could really love Zach.  Even tho we live in different cities on eiter side of the United States. I feel like I could really love him even tho weve spent most of our relationship just on the phone getting to know each other without all the physical elements getting in the way. I fee like I could love him and I just want to try to make it work. I could love him. i could. I want to. I want him to be the one. I want him.

The feeling is so strong that is scares me. Not in the sense that I think I am going to get hurt. Im scared in the sense that i dont know who this person is that wants to love him. She is so unlike me in the desire she feels to belong to him. Its crazy really, but Im ready to run full speed into the unknown. But there are so many road blocks on this journey. His unwillingness to move back here and my not wanting to move to him leaving everything behind. Its a gambling game and lady luck has never been on my side. So I dont know what to think do or feel.

I do know I feel very helpless and alone. Lonely without his voice or his words near me, thinking of him Is a new feeling that is enjoyable. But my feeding on it has left me a lil unhealthy. Maybe i need to go on a diet