Day 12

Today was certainly a crazy day. It started off horribly but lets not even get into that.

So R. IMed me lastnight talking about he was looking at the stars. But I ingnored him. And this morning he had emailed me. Seems he was reading over an old email I had sent him years ago. Basically he said that I know him better than anyone and it scares him and makes him happy at the same time. Then he said some stuff about he doesnt know if he is a good person and he has no idea what he is doing. He said he is trying to be better than he was yesterday and so forth. He also said that he doesnt mean to hurt me but he guess people always hurt the ones they love. He says he wishes I would call and that he wouldnt call me cause I told him not too.

I appreciate the email. and the IM and the text he sent me. It shows he is thinking of me and he misses me. But I gotta continue on this journey of not communicating with him. each day it gets a little easier. Although I needed to talk to him today I used my other resources and seeked help elsewhere. Just know he is still there gives me some warmth.

day 12 down….gotta keep moving on….