clouds

A feeling washed over me when i was flying amongst the white fluffy billowing clouds above the deep ocean below…

I have an obsession with winning because somewhere deep down inside I feel like a loser. So my competitiveness (?) is a desperate attempt to hide my dark insecurities. I dont want a lot of ppl to have access to my heart because I feel as tho my heart is somehow always wrong and ppl dont take to it, leaving me bruised…my heart, uhh my beautiful beating heart with a tiny hole, figurativly and literally, always loses when it comes to loving ppl who dont care to love me back

and for that my mind is always in the clouds because the reality beneath the sky is too much for me to bare.