“Nothing ever changes”

This was a quote from a movie called “Resident Evil”. Forgive me if it sounds a bit too commercial.

Anyway…

I don’t expect any understanding… I wanted to say that people are junk.

Life is a fight. You have to be strong. That’s in my mind. Fuck goodness! – well, that’s not my style. If people were so intelligent why do they do things like killing and polution and people left behind? “Brothers”, you will never be more to me then the destroyers, the poluters, the killers, the scum. Everybody has it! Everybody wants to be more then he is. We take a step forward and a step backward. Does it change our sole for the good of everything. Commonly not. We’re sick and the sickness is  within ourselves. I hate these things, but mostly I hate myself. I’m just like you all.

Dreaming for a better world? Dream on! Darkness is everywhere and there’s no light. If we all try to create, to change ourselves and the otheres around us that will be an evolution, despite your dark inside. Fight it! The thing we seek. Don’t try to outrun your shadow. That can happen only in your thoughts. The real picture is that everyone shits and everyone is dynamic and dependent on the others or other consequences.

Reality is closer to Depression but Depression != Reality

!= – not equal to

Life is the only thing everyone will have to take no matter if you like it or not. Be stronger, but be real about stuff!

Knowing Reality != Happyness

The pain is getting stronger and stronger. I feel it won’t stop. I have to live with it for everyday of my life. I must live without hurting anyone around me. It’s impossible and that makes the wound even stronger. Am I good or am I bad? I don’t want an answer. I want the reality and the curiousity kills me from inside and in the same time it makes me a bigger, better person. I’m not even sure of what I’m saying. Nothing is clear. Nothing will ever be. I only know that everything is a mechanism.