I’m sick of this apathy

Writing seems to be the best thing to cure my pain for a while. The alcohol and the weed only makes things worce. I have to stop but I can’t. Everything is lost without love. It’s missing. Hooking up isn’t the way. I know it. Sometimes I just can’t control myself. Anger, hate, pain. These guys make me do things I regret. I don’t have a goal anymore. My world is falling apart. Why? I miss the people I love. They left me alone. Maybe it’s my falt. I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t like to fit in any category. I want to start living again but I can’t stand to see the world falling apart. What am I working for? Why am I living? I don’t do enough things for the world. I feel that I must do something. Today I thaught that I have to give blood once a mounth. That way I could be useful. I want to meet people who want to meet the same goal as me. To make me and the world better, but I feel so helpless. People are mostly dying because of other people. I’m so lost. Near me there’s only empty space. No one is ready to sacrifice even a little from their life for the good of all. No one will change even if he understands me. I feel like nothing. A dog was lying sick in the street dying. People walk by and just stair at the poor thing not even trying to help. No one of the stupid meat-eating, shit-eating people stopped and tryed anythig. Don’t ask me why. You know what I’ll say.