i wanted to talk to somebody today

the world is full of people who are too busy with themselves. it is my day off. I’ve felt depressed most of my day.
Question: Why?

Answer: Maybe because I was so tired after work, but despite that i had to go to my lections at the university. I now think it’s mostly because a person who i thought was my friend said awful things to me. it was about my character. about the way i act in seartain situations. tried to annoy me and succeeded. i don’t remember trying to give him a reason to do so. after that he did it once again when i said i was so tired after 4 nights, one after the other, of irregular sleep. i didn’t sleep much because i was working the last 4 days. that’s right! i study and work at nights! so i told him i had to go sleep because of these facts and skipped 1 class.

Question: Why did he do what he did?
Answer: because of the other people around him. because they didn’t like the way i act sometimes and don’t like me. it is because they don’t know me. Oh, if Isay "I never did that" I might be lieing. After all I don’t remember having these kind of presuppositions about people. But if I say "I would like never to do that to a person" that would be best appropriate. Maybe I should of asked that person if by the way he is treating me who is he trying to help, me or himself. i didn’t say a word to him but i tried to tell him that i don’t like the way he talks and he got it but continued doing these stupid things and talking the same way. this guy was supposed to call me today. he didn’t.

Then there was this big meeting. There were alot of people I know there. And… I hadn’t seen most of them for a while and most of them don’t have anything to say to me except "hi" and maybe a hug. They didn’t even ask anything. Most of them just talked with people who attend the meetings more often, which seems to be normal. I really wanted to talk to somebody today. It seems that in the world there isn’t a soul that wants to talk about stuff to me and try to understand me about everything. I really am trying to be an understanding and tolerant person and a friend who needed to talk to someone talked to me one day about everything and he got better. I was so glad I could help. I wold do it again. I just wish there is this person I can talk to and we can do stuff together. There dosn’t seem to be one person in the world that can and want to do that. I’m not bad looking… Well, maybe I’m not so regular person in my thoughts and I have strong feelings that I keep inside of me hidden from the world. It seems I everyday try test people if they understand my way of thinking, but there isn’t a known human being that can do that. Sometimes I miss my dog. I think he did understand. I miss him very much in those times.