Waiting Games

Quote: "Between the wish and the thing, life lies waiting." -Unknown

I’d hear from them within a week. It has now been five days. I’ve concluded tommorrow, April 20th which just so happens to be my birthday, will be the day I find out whether or not I got into Montclair. After that an entirely new set of issues and worries will arrive. I’m not sure how I’ll cope with them, I’ve already chewed my finger nails down to nubs. In a possible unrelated occurance, I’ve begun to notice numerous gray strands popping up in my normally brown hair. I’d always thought that going gray due to excessive worry was just a saying or an old wive’s tale, but I may have been wrong. Not that I’ve gone gray overnight, I think my first one popped up my senior year of high school. Obviously I need to relax or I’ll have salt and pepper hair by the time I’m 25.

I didn’t plan on celebrating my birthday, it’s not like turning 20 is a big deal and truthfully, partying on a Monday wasn’t appealing. I was convinced to take a drive to Ramapo and visit some friends, maybe see a show as part of my "birthday weekend". I’m so glad I did.

The concert venue was small, I could have reached out and touched Kevin Devine had I wanted to, though I resisted the urge. Listening to him play Longer That I’m Out Here, Ballgame, No Time Flat and a dozen others just about made my night. He complained of suffering from a cold but I thought he sounded amazing live. When he finished his set I made my way over to the tables, debating buying a T-shirt. Corinne, my best friend stood next to me, surveying our options. I was focusing on one of the T shirts when Corinne clutched my arm. I looked up into the eyes of Kevin Devine, who was selling his own shirts. I’d expected a random merchandise guy, though considering how small the show was, should have known better.

"Hey," He said, extending his hand. "I’m Kevin."
 I tried to stifle a laugh before introducing myself and then more star struck than I’d like to admit made a confession.
"Dude..you’re music is great. Not Over You Yet, that song got me through my last break up!"
He seemed genuinely flattered to hear this, embarrassed when I confessed to having been starstruck and was just a genuninely down to earth nice guy. There were so many things I wanted to say, so many compliments I wanted to give. The guy is a lyrical genuis, I play his songs constantly. I’m not even close to cool, I had to fight just to get the few words I did say out, I was speechless. I shook his hand, got a picture and called my Mom as soon as I walked away.

I still think it’s cool that I talked to the guy, even if I was having trouble putting words together. I hold musicians in such high respect, partially because I never learned to play anything and wish more than anything that I could. It’s safe to say that the moment made my night. Though a rasberry vodka-glacier ice gatorade combo was a great addition.

I drank a lot that night, toasting to the next 367 days flying by, because 21 is the when the real party would happen. I tried not to think too much about Montclair, though I find myself checking my application status multiple times a day. I did speak of it a few times, on a park bench in between sets. I debated my living situation. Living with a guy I consider to be a friend, though not super close or a stranger. The point of going away is to branch out, experience new things and people. Of course that entire idea is terrifying to me which makes living with someone I know somewhat appealing.

"Doesn’t matter," I noted to Corinne. "I still haven’t gotten in."

Sitting next to me on the bench, she rested her head on my shoulder, telling me not to worry. It was the first night of the season to really feel like spring. Streetlights glowed all around us, happy college kids buzzed by. Green leaves and mountains out in the distance. I took in the moment, still high from the adrenaline rush that came with meeting Kevin Devine. Just a little bit tipsy from a few shots of vodka, waiting for the rest of our group to finish taking pictures with Valencia, trying to believe the words of a good friend.

It’ll all be over, any day now.