The Night Starts Here

Quote: "Every man regards his own life as the New Year’s Eve of time."  -Jean Paul Richter

I’d been trying to stop my teeth from chattering the entire ride home. The air was beyond cold, the layer of ice that  had covered the windshield was only just beginning to melt. My heart began to beat a little faster while I watched her hand shift gears from drive to park. We were talking, but about nothing significant, I was only trying to fill the silence, fight the temptation.

"Guess I should get going," I murmured, before reaching over for a hug.

We leaned in, unsure as to whether or not we were ready for what was going to happen next. Just as the All American Reject’s Mona Lisa reacged its chorus, we kissed. The car’s heat had finally begun to kick in, a light snow began to fall. The blood rushed to my head, pulsing through my body, hands shaking, heart beating fast. It was as if every part of me wa saying finally.

Kissing Kristina is often a mistake but things really might be different this time. We stayed in her car for over an hour and a half talking about the painful past and uncertain future. "Are we really going down this road again?" I asked. She smiled, nodded yes and pulled me in for a kiss. Her hand on the back of my head, luring me in closer, making me feel wanted. It’s what I’ve wanted for nearly two years from this girl. I wanted her, to want me. We’re making a go of it, going into it with a different outlook than before. I know her, she knows me and we know where we stand.

I’ll be spending New Year’s Eve with her tonight as well as some good friends. Basicly the people who have made my winter break a success. I’d be lying if I said that I’d expected my month to be going this well. spent Saturday night in Blaise’s basement killing a bottle of Southern Comfort and talking Target. Sunday night we drove to Blaise’s grandma’s beach house. There was no heat or running water but me managed to make it work. Both nights I was just happy to be surrounded by people I was with. They are all funny or interesting and even kind, each in their own way. I’m glad I know them and drink with them. These are the nights I want to remember in twenty years.

Last night I stood at Washinton Hill overlooking most of New Jersey, the New York City skyline visible if you stared in the right direction. I made jokes with co workers who have slowly become legitimate friends. I smiled at Kristina, careful not to touch. Our kiss had taken place only a day before and we weren’t ready to inform the group just yet. I’m not ready for the groans and eye rolls that will come with telling them we’re going for round 5. They’ll tell me it won’t be different, that she’ll leave me and I’ll only get hurt. I’ll fill everyone in soon, maybe even tonight. Whether they back my choice or not, I know for fact they’ll be there if it works out or not, which is all I can really ask.

Those same people will gather tonight to ring in the new year. We’ve shopped for new clothes, ditched old parties, discussed strategies to obtain alcohol at Taco Bell, raising tonight’s hype. Joe, Mike, Blaise and I will party hop tonight, hitting up different events over the next two towns before settling at Vanessa’s where Kristina will be anxiously awaiting my arrival.
 
I don’t know if I’ve ever had to so much hope going in New Years. Hope for new friends, a beatiful girl, transfering schools. Things are going to happen in 2009 and if it’s anything like this past month, I’m really looking forward to it.