Northern Downpour
Quote: "You are at the top of my lungs, drawn to the ones who never yawn." -Panic at the Disco
Suddenly we’re hanging out again, it’s a regular thing now, spending time together is just an assumption we both make. She snuck out of her house, climbing out of her basement window and running down the street to my car that was waiting 2 houses down. We’d done this before only now a year later, I was without curfew and had the entire ngiht at our fingertips. It was nearly one in the morning when we sat at the picnic table playing truth or dare. It started raining soon, lightly at first, then pouring as I carried her back to the car so her feet, covered only by flip flops, wouldn’t be touched by the wet grass.
It’s like a dream, spending my nights with Kristina again. There were so many things I’ve wanted to say over the past year. Since June 2007 I’ve wondered what I was to her, whether she missed me, regretted what she did or hated me for what I did after. Now here I am, getting answers to my questions, kissing her again.
Not to say we are without complications. In nearly 2 weeks she’ll go away to school. Close enough so she can work down here on the weekends but far enough that visits during the week will be near impossible. That and I broke up with my near perfect girlfriend a mere 12 hours after spending an entire night talking to her in my car. Danielle still gets to me, not enough for me to want her back, but she sure makes me feel like shit. I didn’t exactly cite Kristina as a part of our break up, feeling there were plenty of other reasons to end things, some of which she cited herself. It’s been a week now and she’s informed me she wants me back.
It’s the worst when she plays the guilt trip. Asking how I can leave her so soon after her aunt died and her friends about to go away to school. Telling me she needs me. I tell her not to let me hold her back only to have her say she doesn’t want anyone else. She wants us to work it out and I just don’t. When you have to work that hard at a relationship, it isn’t worth it. At least I don’t think so.
I ended up in the backseat of my car with Kristina last night. She kissed my neck as I laid her down on the seat. Jeans and the cramped quarters of my car made it near impossible for us to get comfortable but I didn’t mind much. Earlier in the night we’d stood on the beach, just the two of us, not another person in sight. I commented on how nicely her head fit underneath my chin My heart race as she smiled, this real genuine smile that I’ve been seeing more and more of lately.
I don’t like to talk about whatever it is we have going on because I’m usually met with an eye roll. Going back to the girl who broke your heart is rarely a good plan but I really think things are different now. We’ve grown, experienced other relationships and I can honestly say I haven’t had this much fun all summer and half the time all we do is drive around.