Saturday

I either got food poisoning or a short-lived virus yesterday. I went with Sam to have lunch with his friends, which was fine,  and then we ran a couple errands afterward. I felt a bit nauseous as we were out and about but I ignored it long enough to get through errands and then came home and created a project rubric for next week.

I also happen to be on my period, so I took a long hot bath to help with cramps, but once I got out I felt even worse. Without going into much detail, I was in pain and texting my mom in the bathroom for about another miserable hour. When I knew I wasn’t going to be sick anymore I forced myself to get dressed and then I went downstairs to rest in the “guest room.” I was shaking and cramping and probably had a fever. I fell asleep at around 6:00pm…woke up at 11:30 and then I was awake until 2AM when I finally went back to sleep. Not a fun night. The good news is that when I woke up I felt fine, just dehydrated. And I ate breakfast just fine this morning.

Now I’m trying to decide when I want to go over to watch Outlander with my mom. She probably already started watching it without me.

I’ve been avoiding this, but my therapist sent me resources she wanted me to look at before doing any “trauma work.” I told her on our first visit that I didn’t have trauma and she just laughed. I do, but it’s honestly not even that bad. My rational brain says that there’s no point in comparing trauma because trauma is trauma is trauma and what matters is how it affects you, not to what degree you experienced it…BUT my irrational brain says that I should get over it and find other ways to be a functioning adult. I guess I should at least look at the resources. I’m supposed to find a few happy memories, but all I can think of is just being with my dog, honestly.