Occasionally I can be super gay…

Well, alright, finals haven’t even started and I’m writing. I’m procrastinating. I should be procrastinating constructively by cleaning up the mess I accidentally made last night, but I’m not. I was lying backwards on my bed and kicked the drawer next to my bed. That started a chain reaction and I ended up knocking over two drawer units, breaking a drinking glass, knocking a light bulb  filament to its death, and spilling all the contents (dirt) out of my crabitat. This all happened at 3 AM, so I just went to bed and still haven’t done anything about it other than picking up the broken glass. I can’t wait until I can move into the bigger room!

So, why was I lying backwards on my bed? I suddenly had a burning desire to write in my pen-and-paper diary. It’s written pretty sporadically, but I love it because I got it during IOP ("Intensive Out Patient" AKA Group therapy). It’s all artsy and made from handmade paper, but what’s really special is that all the girls in the group made pages of encouragement for each other so that when we’re writing we stumble upon a page that tells us how amazing and loved we are. =) NOT THE POINT. I was writing because of stuff that happened at work. A new girl started working there and normally my gaydar is nonexistent, but it turns out it was spot on this time. I kind of gave up hope of having a crush/chance, however, once I actually talked to her because she’s about 8 billion times more interesting than I am. This is what I was writing about in my diary. I’m not very interesting. I don’t even skate anymore, so I don’t have that quirk to fall back on. I really need to make an effort to start hiking more (I downloaded a geocaching app to my phone…that’s a start, right?!) and doing more fun things. The only people who are attracted to girls who spend all their time window shopping online and watching storage wars are people who spend all their time window shopping online and watching storage wars. There’s nothing wrong with those people except that they are harder to meet. 

So, I was on my lunch break around the time that this girl, Emily, got off work. She stopped by the break room to grab a push pop and sit down for a bit. We started talking a bit (thank goodness we both happen to have a nostalgic thing for Flintstone orange sherbet push pops or this conversation would have been a lot more awkward getting into). She jumped right into it and told me she had a friendly heads up that Mac was going to ask me out. So, now he has talked to at least two girls at work about asking me out. WHY? At least Emily and Kristy both had the decency to let me know. Apparently Mac asked her if she was gay (yes) and if she thought anyone else up at the front was gay (she didn’t know, why?) because he wanted to ask a girl out but couldn’t tell if she was gay (she could ask her out and that would answer his question) but he didn’t like that idea so he asked if he could text her later for advice (sure). So, that’s what she told me went down. I TOTALLY blew it and missed my cue when she said "I feel like I should be texting you at the same time so I know what to say to him!" DUH, Laura, that was when you should have said "smashing idea! Here’s my number!"

Really, I never learn anything new from these experiences. I already know I suck at flirting and it’s pretty obvious that I have no balls. 

I should try and correct this. Even if she doesn’t have any interest in me romantically, she’s really cool. As soon as I figure out a way to exchange numbers, I won’t hesitate to go hang out with her. 

So…

No more classes! I finished up my last stats class yesterday. I handed in my homework and the teacher looked at me and was like, "you really don’t have to turn this in, you know." I gave him my best look of desperation and he took it from me. I don’t care if he doesn’t grade it, I just wanted the peace of mind of knowing that I turned it in and did the work. 

My first final is this evening from 7:30 to 10PM. Fun times, right? It’s for contemporary theory. Remember that paper I wrote on "What is Modernity?" My answer was that Modernity is an attitude in the way that Foucault describes it and the best evidence of this is democracy and the spirit of debate over what the best form of democracy is. Great, so that thesis right there is pretty much all the explanation that ought to have been given, but I needed to extend it to 5-7 pages. I made it to four pages of complete and utter bullshit  and somehow I got an A on the paper. I DON’T KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENED. That was definitely not an "A" paper. So, now that I’ve gotten A’s on both my papers (40% of my grade), and 86% on my midterm (25% of my grade) and about a 80% on my quizzes (10%) of my grade, I’m really not that worried anymore about the final. The problem is that I don’t know if an A is 90% or what. I think it’s probably above a 92 %, which means that if I just show up to the final and do my best, I have to get at least a C in the class. 

Thursday was Meghan’s 21st birthday! We went to the Rio and had margaritas, then we went to this painting studio where you pay for a kind of painting lesson and you get to drink wine and make a painting, then we headed to a restaurant/bar in Westminster to get cocktails and a late dinner. Matt took a hot wing challenge. He ate five hotwings that you have to sign a waiver to eat and wear gloves to handle. Meghan’s friend from highschool, Kayla (the one who I think looks like Emma Stone) was super nice and bought Meghan 21 cupcakes. =) It was definitely a good time! It was also fun to hang out with Meghan without the weird bitterness between her and Hannah. I was bitter toward Meghan because of the money issues, but she’s making up for it and she really is one of my best friends, so I appreciate any time I get to be our dorky selves together. 

Heather, Meghan, Kayla, Matt, Me