NoJoMo # 20 ~ How can it be

I am a nice person. Its been proven by friends, family, and strangers.. that I would bend over backwards to help others as I could. I am always willing to put others before  me.  I learned over the years that it takes a toll on you. How can you really be so sweet, helpful, friendly, and nice to someone else, before you put any into yourself?  I started this new job, My Cardinal postion, with the goal in mind that I will continue to do well as I have been but on a personal level start to put myself first.

I have finaly started my journey. I am working out 3 days a week min, for now hope to increase that, and I am changing my diet. I no longer desire soda, unless i have a migraine. I am for once starting to feel good about myself…

then you bring in my co-worker. T. She has been a wonderful person to work with. When she needed to leave early, I had her back and vice versa…She was friendly, warm, and honestly a lot of fun. I really like her. over the past few months she has been thrown through a lot…

1. Her brother and his girlfriend getting into a horrible horrible almost life threatening accident. She was out of the office for a couple days for that,
2. Her son graduating and going to college, she too missed a few days here and there for that too
3. Mysterious Major Family issue – She was out of office for 4 days becasue of that
4. Numerous time of being sick – missed days for that
5. Going through her Condo purchasing ordeal. (first one fell through after everything) she had taken 2 days off to move for both situations
6. The emotions of  her son moving away, living on her own in her own condo

Now… I have been super supportive and understanding to her and her needs… and I have let lots of things slide because of the above listed things. All of this happened this year.. So I totaly get her change in attitude for some things…

BUT THEN… she has the nerve to get snappy with me, and get an attitude with me on my days off…

we had another IM *spat* … L left early… he had like 5 hours of PTO time left. So he used it today. Now… he mentioned this to both T and I yesterday. No one had a problem with it. He leaves and like 1 hour later, T asked me who is watching REDI. I Know it was her, (we have a schedule in place) and it says she covers REDI.
We have 3 job functions broken up into a rotating schedule for a week by week basis.
The Jobs are:  REDI & REPORTS, SAP & CSOS, and BYPASSES
Person working REDI & REPORTS is the busiest as they handle the majority of all issues.
Person working SAP is the person who covers REDI & REPORTS or BYPASSES if original person is out
Person working BYPASSES covers SAP & CSOS if original person is out.
This week: L = REDI, T = SAP, Me = BYPASSES

Last week I was the SAP worker … so I was covering pretty much EVERYTHING at a few points because A. T was at lunch, out sick, or training   and B. L was on lunch or at a meeting.

I have never once complained about covering. When my WHOLE team went to a all hands on cardinal Medical meeting, I stayed behind and worked everything so that T & L could go… I chose to miss out, since I know T wanted to go. Not a big deal.

All this being said, when she asked who was working REDI, I said her and offered to help and she SNAPPED. Saying she hates this… and how things are preventing her from doing her training or her project and she starts on me about my time off (AGAIN)… sigh. We get into it.

I start to shake… it makes me want to cry because I am being accused of something I don’t do, and sure i totaly see where she is coming from with my days, its confusing what i did… but i did what was allowed, and my boss approves… I don’t want to cry cause she is upset with me… I feel like it because I am hurt. I have been nothing but kind and support and good to her. I went over the spending liimit for her birthday gift because she was sad her son was not with her… I printed pictures and framed them of him for her, i got her a relaxation set for her new place and more then expected because i care about her… and I ask to have us talk out what seems to be an issue here.. and she just doesn’t seem to be having it.

so now I HAVE to tell my boss, I did 1 time already because i couldnt’ take her attitude anymore. and we have been talking and playing nice apparently… she has an issue with me and doesnt want to address it… well I am going to have to, because its affecting my work. Sure I have been late a few times (I am due in at 9, get here sometimes at 9:15 latest) and our boss said " Please report at your schedule time , if you are going to be more then 30 mins late then call and let me know" Basicaly if I get in at 930 instead of 9 i only get a 30 min lunch instead of 1 hr.  So I opt to do that many times.
I am ALWAYS here until 530-6p. But she is constantly leaving and taking long lunches and not making up the hours. We had this argument and I never once dropped her days in her face, because its not my place. Jill obviously would have called her on her days if it was wrong. Not my place. But though she says its not her place, she still gets in it.. *sigh*

How can it be that I am still in the wrong?  Maybe I am triggering it? i don’t know. but its at a wits end with me right now.

Sorry so long…
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