NoJoMo 04 – Another day has gone by

Well today was a day of sorts, Actually kinda busy at work. NOT super busy, but enough to keep my mind off of Paul.

So I broke down today and IMed Paul I told him Hi and then he started to apologize about lastnight. He told me that he wanted to talk to me and he would text or IM later. (I knew better.. I didn’t expect it). I told him to not worry about it since i knew better.  After a few mins of BS talk.. We got onto us… I SWEAR All i can do is just let myself sit here and dwell on my feelings.. 
I Love him like CRAZY. He and I talked and he tells me he loves me, then he tells me that I deserve happiness and he WANTS to make me happy but he always fails. He wants me in his life, and he wants to become someone who I deserve but something is going onwith him and he knows i would be happier finding someone else.

I GOT SO upset.. its just because I can’t get over him. I KNOW he is right… I KNOW that. SO MANY MIXED signals. This is the thing. one minute he is "Move on but keep me in ur life" then its "I want u in my life, don’t leave me" etc. 

My friend laura said that she went to this hypnotherapist guy and he helped her.. get past these mixed feelings. Sort of a Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind type thing (Minus the losing memories)

Sigh. ENOUGH of that!