#22 – Today is a day

So my edit on yesterdays entry was kinda emotional and blah. Basically i made a mistake at work, in a process, I should not have made this mistake and I DESERVED to be written up for it, But I was told that I can not apply or interview for the Command center job that I wanted really bad. It was my mistake.. but wow. They don’t have faith that I can make it in the data center, and yet they wont’ let me go elsewhere in the company. They STILL hold my attendance against me.. I mean I get i was absent but it was ALL medically related. INFACT i found 2 other times I called off PRIOR to the surgery were related to the surgery .. *sigh*

So I am cycling my resume, My friend Tonya sent me a link for a job at her work, which is just a basic clerical/documentation person.. but it pays decent and I am definitly qualified. Sad thing is the end date if Nov2008.. wtf?! lol
I also emailed my resume to Robert Half Technologies. I am worried since that is a contracting company. Sigh. But We shall see.

After christmas IF things DONT get better with this job, and I just really dont enjoy this job, I will probably be leaving.

I was in TEARS this morning. I had a crappy night, then to follow it up with a crappy meeting with manager and boss. WHICH by the way i was not allowed to get a copy of my final writtne warning. Which struck me as off. I am going to be emailing/calling HR for a copy of ALL my write ups AND my medical documentation tim has given them.

I was in tears because they are basically keeping me in a postion i don’t want. I expressed that i like the company and the data center, but i need more. I hate not having 8 hours or at least 6 hours worth of work!!!

I was also crying just because its harsh to have to know because i made a total of 6 mistake in 11 months, and only 2 were considered “major” issues, this current one being the ONLY issue that had a major status.. that I caused my failure in this company.
Then they tried to say i got my attendance final warning becuase i failed to report to them were i was for a couple days?! HOLD UP! i was in the FREAKING HOSPITAL! I HAVE PROOF & i called my supervisor. NOT my fault he doesn’t answer or check messages!!! I have RECORDS of that too! WTF?!
Fuel. man fuel.

I really wish I could just walk away. But i can’t; I am not like that. I can not just up and quit not ANY of my jobs have i done that.. NOT even the one where i was robbed at gun point!!!!

I am just really wishing i could go home, see my family. I really miss them. I have not seen my mom in such a long time, my surgery they came up.. but i was doped up. I really have not seen my dad even longer. My mom is making a huge thanksgiving dinner saturday and i really want to go.. but I ahve to work. So no thanksgiving dinner for me.

I am planning to make some steaks paul and i have. they are little fillets. so that should be decent. Lets just hope i dont sleep all day!!!
Seriously wednesday morning i cried roughly on and off till about 10a.
then just passed out. i did not wake up till 1015. Sigh.

Happy thanksgiving to everyone!!! <3