Terrified *Edit*

I’m so nervous about all this.  So much has happened.  I’m now living in my apartment and I’m nervous about starting class and making sure I have enough money.  I’m just so nervous. I’m afraid I won’t have enough money. I’m afraid I won’t be able to hack it in law school.  Really, I’m terrified.  Of course, I’ve also got my period so that’s not helping. There’s just so much change going on in my life right now and that’s not helping matters either.  Starting law school, moving out, Stephen moving out, it just feels like a tornado around me. I’m desperately clinging to my Heavenly Father to help me through.  I keep trying to remember that this is where I’m supposed to be, and since it is, the Lord will help me through.  The idea of being on my own and all that responsibility is a little terrifying.  I’m looking forward to seeing the family on Thursday.  However, the fact that it’s likely the last time we’ll all be together for awhile is more than a little disconcerting.  Given that Stephen likely won’t be coming back for Christmas really makes it weird.  But it does help that I’ll see the family on Thursday, and then see my parents Labor Day weekend for my grandmother’s "birthday party."  My mom’s volunteered to drive down and come to church with me, so that’ll help too with the transition. 

I think I need to write more.  Just writing this out has made me feel better.  Definitely time to get back into the habit of writing in my journal.  I suspect as time goes on, I’m going to need it more and more.  I think too once I go back on meds (and likely both a stimulant and an anti-depressant again) I’ll be better.  I keep remembering from my Patriarchal blessing that I should set high goals and that I will achieve them.  If law school doesn’t count as a high goal, I don’t know what does.  In any case, that too is a comfort that I can do this if I do my best.  It’s a good reminder that if I do my best, the Lord will make up the difference. 

*Edit*  Have you ever been terrified to do something, even though you knew it was the right thing, the best thing for you?  That’s how I feel about moving out and going to law school.

"Life is measured not by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."